Got Etiquette Advice?

  Dear Polite One, Isn't it customary to send a gift if you receive a graduation announcement? What about if we receive an invitation to a graduation party?  Do we send a gift if unable to attend the graduation party? Haven't a Clue Dear Haven't a Clue , You are not obligated to send gifts for the announcement or invitation. If you are very close to the graduate and wish to give, you may. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One     Is a military going away party a gift-giving event? How to inform guests to only give gift cards for my housewarming? What is a good college graduation gift for an adult?    

  Dear Polite One, We are invited to an adult's (over 40) college graduation party. They stated that gifts are not expected. But we feel as if we should give cash or a gift card. What is appropriate?    Wondering Dear Wondering , Since this isn't a gift-giving situation, you aren't obligated.   The invitation states "no gifts" so this is exactly what is expected. However, if you wish to give, you could give a gift certificate to a restaurant, bookstore, or something similar. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One     Single person gives the same as married couples? Is a military going away party a gift-giving event? How to inform guests to only give gift cards for my housewarming?

  Dear Polite One, Huge problem and even bigger accomplishment.  I'm so proud that my three daughters are graduating from three different colleges this year.  Of course, I want to host parties for all three, however I'm concerned about friends and family feeling obligated to give three gifts all at once. How do I host one party for all three graduates? Overwhelmed but Proud Dear Overwhelmed but Proud, Congratulations on the accomplishments of your three daughters . Unfortunately, I can't give you a clear answer, as there is no clear protocol for this issue.  So, we are stuck with my opinion. Even though gift giving is optional for graduates, most usually want to reward the graduate. Therefore, hosting the one big party for all three might not give each their just reward.   Although all are graduating at the same time, the three parties could be held any time for each of your daughters.  The expense for guests would be spread out better as...

  Dear Polite One, We are planning a large high school graduation party for my daughter at our home. I would like to send announcements to those who I know can't attend, as I'm very proud that she graduated and is off to college.  However, I also feel that sending announcements might appear as a tacky way of asking for cash.  Would it be best to send announcements , mentioning the party, but stating that gifts are not expected?  Proud Mom Dear Proud Mom, A graduation from high school should be celebrated, as it is a life event. Sending announcements is appropriate and polite, but don't mention gifts .  It would appear as gifts are expected.  If you want these people to attend the party, however, send an invitation not an announcement. And on these, it is perfectly fine these days to mention no gifts.   Congratulations! The Polite One More by The Polite One Is a graduation party for 8th graders gift-giving event?   How to ...

  Dear Polite One, My son is graduating from 8th grade and is invited to multiple graduation parties for which I have been told that I am expected to give a gift to each kid.   I can't afford gifts for all! And I know this really isn't a gift-giving event.  But I'm assuming the parents don't know or don't care.  I feel like they are milking this trend to bulk up their bank account.  Exhausted Dear Exhausted, Craziness!   A graduation party for eighth-graders is far from a gift -giving event. Even if this were a graduation party for completion of high school, your son is not gift obliged, as he would also be a graduate. A card is the gift if he is attending any party. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How-to plan a welcome home/graduation combo party ? How to plan graduation party for a kindergartner and announce a money tree? Do we give gifts for all graduation parties?

     Dear Polite One, My son and I are invited to multiple high school graduation parties this season.  We simply can't afford a gift for all graduates.  What is the etiquette as far as gift giving if not attending and/or we haven't seen the children in years?  Do I just write checks for all? Gift Poor Dear Gift Poor , You are in luck.  Only those very close to the graduate give gifts and they shouldn’t be expected.  Many do not know this though.  Whether you attend or not, a card is the best gift.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Is a money tree appropriate for a retirement party? How-to plan a welcome home/graduation combo party ? How to plan graduation party for a kindergartner and announce a money tree?

  Dear Polite One, We are hosting a party to honor our daughter's kindergarten graduation. She has many family and friends who have participated in her life and would enjoy such a milestone celebration.  Since she doesn't need toys, we want cash gifts for her future. How do we inform guests of our wishes?  We will also have a money tree at the party.  Proud Mom Dear Proud Mom, This is very confusing as it is far from a gift -giving event.  It's just not done and may be equally confusing to your guests.  Moreover, requesting cash, in any form, especially for a non-gift-giving event may appear as greedy.  It may appear as if you want others to provide for your daughter's future when it is your responsibility.  Please also note that a money tree is never done anymore.  All of this is just not good manners.  Sincerely The Polite One More by The Polite One How do I inform guests of attire, gift request and they pay for...

  Dear Polite One, My oldest son returns from deployment at the same time my youngest daughter graduates from high school.  Since both events are reasons to celebrate, should I plan for one party to celebrate both events?  I want to have many of the same people attend, but don't want to overwhelm them with two different dates.  The welcome home part of the party could come first so the military families could leave afterward.   I'm just a little concerned about the gift issue.  I don't want the military families to feel like they should bring one for my daughter.  Should I write this on the invitation? Confused Mom Dear Confused Mom, It might be better to split the parties into separate events, as it isn't as special for your two children. Although, you know more about what is right for your family.  If you do host this as one party, de-emphasizing gift-giving is best. The graduation party is not necessarily a gift-giving ...

  Graduating from high school is certainly something to celebrate.   Still, parents are role models who guide their children in the right direction, thus it’s best to resist succumbing to the excitement of the moment.   Naturally, parents are proud of their child’s accomplishments, so clouded judgment is common.   Since imminent adulthood is now a reality, it is even more important to stay vigilant as good parental guides.   Understanding how to behave like an adult, and how to be a good host, is an invaluable skill for your child’s social toolbelt.   Use the graduation party as a teaching tool.    Budget and Planning A good party begins with planning.   Involve the child in the planning and inviting, beginning with a budget and a guest-list limit.   Be realistic and candid about monetary limitations—a great life lesson.   Inviting Besides your child’s dear friends, must-invite guests are all those who have been clos...

  Prefers Cash Graduation is a major life event we tend to celebrate, as we should.  However, since this is considered by most to be a gift-giving event, we should follow some etiquette guidance or chance appearing...well, not so well mannered.    Dear Polite One My daughter is graduating from High School this year. She does not plan to go to college yet and has secured an assistant management position with her current employer. My question is: she would prefer to have cash in lieu of  gifts . Is it appropriate to state that on the reception invitations and if so how would I word it? I would greatly appreciate a prompt reply as I am preparing the invitations to print and need to know. Thanks so much, Jean Dear Jean, No, it is never appropriate to ask for gifts, especially cash.  Can you imagine receiving an invitation for graduation and reading that you are expected to bring your wallet?  A graduation party is not necess...

  Graduation is a rite of passage.  Whether it be graduation from high school or college, this is an exciting event in a person's life.  But it isn't necessarily a gift-giving event. Only those close to the graduate usually give.  So, please do not request gifts.     Just the Facts Use the party as a teaching tool to prepare your child for his future. Involve him/her in the planning/inviting with an eye on the budget. This shouldn't be just another teen bash. Keep the focus on gratitude for those who have been there for your child.  If serving adults alcoholic beverages, nix children’s access and discuss legality and liability.  Hosts should visit with each guest. Roleplay how to meet and greet guests. Practice proper introductions and handshakes with good eye contact. Gifts are optional and not a focus. No registering. If gifts are received, each should be placed out of sight of other guests. He/she must handwrite thank you notes imme...