Got Etiquette Advice?

Dear Polite One, We are going to visit my brother-in-law and his wife.  While visiting them, his boss is throwing a birthday party for his twin daughter's one-year-old birthday.  Although we do not know the family, my brother-in-law has requested we attend the party with them.  He has his boss’s permission.  Our question is, should we bring a gift for the girls that we do not know, or is just a gift from my brother-in-law correct? Stephanie Dear Stephanie, You are not expected to give a gift to the children .  However, you have been included and should give a hostess gift, such as flowers. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Hostess Gift, Buffets, and Dietary Dilemmas Two Tips for New Relationships How did the American method begin?

  Dear Polite One, My young son would like to invite his friends to his birthday party.  However, many do not have much money.  Even at my son's young age of six years, he requests guests do not bring gifts.  I applaud his values and wish to honor his request.  How do I do this politely? Proud Mom Dear Proud Mom, I'd be proud as well.  Many children want gifts more than just about anything. We are in luck here, since it is now considered perfectly polite to write "no gifts please" on birthday, anniversary, and graduation invitations. Thank you for teaching your child manners. Warm regards, The Polite One More by The Polite One       How to request funds for college account? How can I give a gift when I have no money? Do we include favors for an adult birthday party?

  Dear Polite One, How can I request guests contribute to my birthday girl's college fund? We'd much rather build up the college fund than have more toys around the house. Dear Funds for the Future, I’m sorry, but this is not polite .  Even though gifts are somewhat expected for the birthday of a child, it is impolite to expect gifts and/or to suggest what those gifts should be. However, you could use "word of mouth" to relay your preference to guests.  But be prepared for some to view this as impolite.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One       Is a money tree appropriate for a retirement party? How can I give a gift when I have no money? Do we include favors for an adult birthday party?

  Dear Polite One, My best friend invited me to her Sweet 16 breakfast and asked me what I was going to get her for her birthday .   I am 16 and have no job, so how can I give her a gift that she will like without coming empty-handed. Thanks, Jobless Teen Dear Jobless in Teen, Jeez, that wasn't very nice , invite someone to your party and then ask, "What are you getting me?" I'm not sure what you could give her that she won't look down upon. Some people just expect a lot. But candy is usually a good choice.  I can usually make my little girl (40 years old) happy with a $10 box of truffles.   Perhaps your parents or guardians could help you with the costs in exchange for some of your hard labor.  There are a few things we all dislike doing like, cleaning the refrigerator, washing, and waxing the car, and cleaning out the garage. Hopefully, you can work a deal.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One     ...

  Dear Polite One, Are favors or gift bags expected for an adult birthday party?   We are hosting a birthday party for my sister-in-law at a restaurant. What is the proper birthday party etiquette? Dear Visitor, Favors and gift bags are optional, but seldom used for an adult birthday party. Paying restaurant costs for guests is not optional, however.  Please make sure you can afford all costs before inviting guests. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Are favors appropriate for a religious event? How do I inform guests of attire, gift request and they pay for meals? Is a money tree appropriate for a retirement party?      

  Dear Polite One, My friend is hosting her own birthday party at a restaurant, expects us to buy our own dinner, drinks, and give a gift.  She prefers gift cards.   She actually listed her registries on the invitation.  How do I tell her that this is tacky and rude?    Worried Friend Dear Worried Friend, You are correct that it is tacky to ask friends to pay for the parties. Expecting gifts is even worse.  Requesting a specific gift is beyond impolite. Yikes!  Plus, we never register for birthday parties.  Unfortunately, you could lose your friend by mentioning this to her. Perhaps you might try telling her that you have read that this is impolite and are worried about her reputation .  It might help, but probably won't.  She doesn't appear to care about what others think.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Listing “No Children” and “Monetary Gifts” on the Invitation? Mother-in-law ...

  Dear Polite One, I don't want children attending my husband's 60th birthday ; may I state this on the invitation?  I also want to request monetary gifts.  How do I include this information?  Wants cash; no kids Dear Wants Cash; No Kids, Please don't list "no children " on the invitation, as it would appear too harsh.  The time of the party and venue should be enough for parents to know better.  You could also get the word out through the grapevine.  Perhaps you could include an RSVP with your phone number necessitating guests to call you.  Then, share your wishes.  An adult birthday party is not a gift-giving event.  Even if it were, requesting cash is never polite.  If guests ask what he wants, you could mention the cash option.  Expect guests to cringe though.  It is incredibly impolite.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Mother-in-law added names to the guest list! Do I nee...

Hello Polite One, We are hosting a birthday party for our daughter who is turning 16.   She chose not to invite a friend of hers to the party but said that she is not angry or upset at the individual and that he is still a friend.   However, she finds him annoying at times and would rather he not come to the party.   This has become awkward due to the slight.   We know the family well and the grandmother asked our daughter why she did not invite the grandson to the party.   He is insulted and hurt. HELP, I don’t know what to do!! Yikes! Dear Yikes! Awkward, but not uncommon.  I believe the best way to deal with this is to tell a little white lie.  Perhaps the story could be that you and your daughter wanted (or needed) to keep the guest list very small (or limit the number of guests, no more than… ) for a seemingly valid reason (choose one, like the size of the room or intimacy) and that it was very difficult to choose between all of ...

  Dear Polite One, I would like to thank you. Your site is full of information and common sense. I am a new homeowner, and my birthday is coming up; I would like to combine the celebrations.  I do not want my guests to bring b-day gifts. On the invitation I would like to say:   Please No Birthday Gifts Your Presence is My Present! Would this be alright? I do not expect housewarming gifts, but all will be excepted with a SMILE.   Also, I have lifelong friends, friends from work and social friends, is it OK to stager the time of the party and have one group come between 12:00pm to 2:00pm and one come between 1:00pm to 3:00pm and one between 2:00pm to 4:00pm, so I can be attentive to my guests and enjoy the day. OR Should the times not overlap? Perhaps: 12:00pm to 2:00pm and 2:00pm to 4:00pm and 4:00pm to 6:00pm.   Maybe serving hot dogs and potato salad and other side dishes and birthday cake. Please let me know what you think...

Guests Contribute to College Fund Dear Polite One , My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund.  He has enough toys and I must consider his future.  How do I list this on the invitation?  Will an evite work? Wants Donations Dear Wants Donations, I’m sorry but this would be most impolite .  Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday.  If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts.  This would be best. Good luck! Sincerely, The Polite One Host Wants Guests to Host Dear Polite One, What should I do?  My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party.  Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course.  Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child. Help! Dear Help! Yikes!  This i...

  How do I politely change the date of the party? Hosting a party involves a responsibility to cater to guests with their comfort as most important.  In a nutshell, this means that the host provides the entire event: a convenient time and date, all refreshments, and a pleasant atmosphere.   What follows are answers to two party-planning questions.  Dear Polite One,  A majority of guests I invited to a holiday cocktail party already have plans, so I'd like to change the party date to the following week so everyone could attend.   Is this proper etiquette and if so how do I politely do so?  Host  Dear Host , The holiday season can be hectic, plans change often, so it is appropriate to change the date of your party.  However, it may have to call everyone due to time constraints.   Sincerely,   The Polite One            How to ask guests to pay...

Gift Giving Advice A child’s birthday party is still considered a gift-giving event by most here in the U.S.  So, when hosting a party for your little one, please consider that your guests have spent time and money purchasing what they thought your child would want: the perfect gift.  Your gift to them in return is to share your child’s joy of revealing his/her joy of seeing it for the first time.  Dear Polite One, My five-year-old was invited to a birthday party where the gifts were not opened after the cake was served. In fact, after the cake was eaten, we were pretty much expected to leave.  Is this behavior acceptable birthday party etiquette ? Thank you, Just wondering Dear Just Wondering, It's unfortunate that this parent didn't know what is considered appropriate, as this was not proper or polite, but insulting to guests. We expect children to open their gifts during a birthday party. Sincerely, The Polite One Similar Posts Do...