Got Etiquette Advice?

  Etiquette is basically the protocol we use in any given situation.   It is the behavior expected of us.   Still, not everyone is comfortable with their knowledge of what is considered proper or appropriate.   On an average day, I will receive questions about all aspects of etiquette. Here are a few questions from some of our readers.   One thing you may notice in my responses is that the etiquette I suggest makes sense.   It is logical.   Shirtless Party? Hi Polite One , Is it improper to go shirtless on a hot summer day at a backyard barbeque with friends and close family members? Shirtless Dear Shirtless, If this is a pool party, it would be fine as many would be shirtless and in swimsuits.   However, if it is simply a dinner party or gathering, it is best to remain clothed.   Ask yourself if it would be an appropriate time for the ladies to be wearing swimsuits or go shirtless.   If the answer is no, then the men s...

  Dear Polite One, I'm proud of my doctor husband and want my family and friends to list him as Doctor on envelopes.  My family members find this odd and won't follow my wishes. They always address him as Mr.  This upsets me greatly and I feel it is an insult.  They feel that it is a bit brash to expect my husband to be addressed as "Doctor" by family.  Our friends don't have an issue with this though. Proud Wife Dear Proud Wife, I understand your feelings as one must work extremely hard for many years to become a doctor.  I'm sure you and your husband struggled the same.  However, it is not typical for a family to use " Doctor " when addressing envelopes.  It is considered too formal.   Your family should introduce your husband as Doctor Name to others though.  This is most polite. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor? Which name is listed first on a...

Hello Polite One, We are hosting a birthday party for our daughter who is turning 16.   She chose not to invite a friend of hers to the party but said that she is not angry or upset at the individual and that he is still a friend.   However, she finds him annoying at times and would rather he not come to the party.   This has become awkward due to the slight.   We know the family well and the grandmother asked our daughter why she did not invite the grandson to the party.   He is insulted and hurt. HELP, I don’t know what to do!! Yikes! Dear Yikes! Awkward, but not uncommon.  I believe the best way to deal with this is to tell a little white lie.  Perhaps the story could be that you and your daughter wanted (or needed) to keep the guest list very small (or limit the number of guests, no more than… ) for a seemingly valid reason (choose one, like the size of the room or intimacy) and that it was very difficult to choose between all of ...

  Hello Polite One,   I have a problem.  A friend of mine recently purchased a home and is hosting a housewarming party next month.  She is registered with her fiancé, so guests may purchase gifts, even though they are getting married next April.  She also asked in the invite that guests BYOB, and bring a side dish, appetizer , or dessert.  I think this is asking far too much, considering her home is 2 hours from where all of us live.  She moved into a very small suburb of our city, and most people will be commuting at least 2 hours to get to her desolate home.  I gently mentioned to the hostess, that it might be too much to ask guests to bring both alcohol and food and she responded quite nastily, informing me she has a new very high mortgage and she does NOT think it asking too much.  What is the proper etiquette here? We are close enough friends I know I can give her my opinion on anything, but I would like to get your professional ...

  How do I respond to the rude behavior of one asking for gifts? Dear Polite One,  As an unmarried adult with no children, I don't particularly like giving holiday gifts to all my cousin's children. I do so out of appearance’s sake.  This year I decided to only give to those under the age of 12, which left two children out at the family holiday party.  I did feel odd about it, as all the other adults gave to all the children. The parent, one of my cousins, called to ask if the gifts were misplaced.  I was flabbergasted! How do I respond to this rude behavior ?  Reluctant Giver Dear Reluctant Giver,  Because gift-giving is optional, it is your choice to give or not.  Nevertheless, you have been giving gifts to all the children up until now.  Excluding the older ones without speaking to the family first probably caused hurt feelings.  All of this was probably noticed by all at the party.  It could have humiliated t...

  What is friend etiquette? Hello Polite One, Have two friends who fight because one is jealous of the other.  Both put me in the middle because I'm friends with both of them.  It's frustrating!  I still want to be friends with both, but I'm tired of the fighting.  Neither is right, but neither is wrong.  It's just wrong to want me to fix their problems.  What is the friend etiquette here?  And how to deal with my friends? Pulled Apart by Friends Dear Pulled Apart by Friends, It may be best to change the rules all of you have been playing by in the past.  There is nothing wrong with telling them not to put you in the middle. Inform both that you want to be friends with each of them, but that you don't want to hear anything negative about the other. Be firm that you won't take sides. This way you can be friends with both and not be viewed as taking sides. Regards, The Polite One She Hurts My Feelings! Dear Polite One, ...