Got Etiquette Advice?

  Etiquette is basically the protocol we use in any given situation.   It is the behavior expected of us.   Still, not everyone is comfortable with their knowledge of what is considered proper or appropriate.   On an average day, I will receive questions about all aspects of etiquette. Here are a few questions from some of our readers.   One thing you may notice in my responses is that the etiquette I suggest makes sense.   It is logical.   Shirtless Party? Hi Polite One , Is it improper to go shirtless on a hot summer day at a backyard barbeque with friends and close family members? Shirtless Dear Shirtless, If this is a pool party, it would be fine as many would be shirtless and in swimsuits.   However, if it is simply a dinner party or gathering, it is best to remain clothed.   Ask yourself if it would be an appropriate time for the ladies to be wearing swimsuits or go shirtless.   If the answer is no, then the men s...

  Hi Polite One, I have been invited to a party where the dress code has been cited as "Formal, semi-Formal or Traditional Scottish".  The host announced to all the women that a black cocktail dress would be suitable.   There will be a large group of us attending and I would like to dress a little different than the others.  Do you think a sequenced spaghetti - strapped top and black pants would be considered formal enough?  I would pair it with appropriate jewelry and strappy sandals. Thanks for any information that you can provide.  Great site, highly informative. PS.  I am writing from Alberta, Canada. Dear Visitor from Alberta, Canada, Yes!  You will be the belle of the ball.  I love sequined tops with nice black slacks.  It is such a great look.  It sounds like an interesting party .  Enjoy! Please visit again soon and thank you for the compliment. Also, thank you for letting me know where you are from. ...

  Dear Polite One: May I wear low-healed or flat shoes with my formal gown for a formal black-tie charity event and cocktail party?  My balance is not that great due to health reasons, so I need to go with the lowest heel possible. Falling off my heals Dear Falling Off My Heals, Black tie means formal, so typically you would pair your formal gown with heals.  However, balance problems trump all, as it would be much more embarrassing to fall.  The good news is that there are so many beautiful ballet slippers that could work well.   Pay close attention to your accessories, smile and no one will notice your shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One What to Wear In Freezing Winter for a Minnesota Opera? What to wear for the company holiday party? What is a dress code between semi-formal and formal attire?

  Dear Polite One, I am planning a party and I want guests to dress in nice clothing that isn't too formal or too casual.  Is there a dress code that is in between semi-formal and formal attire? Party planning Dear Party Planning, Basically, the dress code you want is semi-formal, but cocktail attire would probably be best. These two are basically the same term.   Men would be in sports coats, ties, or suits.  Ladies dress in cocktail dresses made from finer cloth-like crepe, satin, or velvet, or outfits in the equivalent formality.  Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One What is the Etiquette for A Ballet Production in the Sydney Opera House? Attire? What to Wear In Freezing Winter for a Minnesota Opera? What to wear for the company holiday party?

  Dear Polite One, I am invited to my boyfriend’s company Christmas party.  It is a large company, and he has just started. Neither of us has attended a work-related holiday party and are a bit nervous.  The dress code is cocktail attire and dinner will be served quite formally.  I'm not comfortable with dresses since it is cold here and I can't keep warm. What to wear? Dear What to wear, Cocktail attire is short-elegant dresses for women , the 'little black dress' or its equivalent.  This means that a pantsuit in this formality would work as well.  Your boyfriend should wear a suit.  Best wishes, The Polite One More From The Polite One What Jewelry to Wear to a Formal Navy Ball? What to wear for a formal ball in New York? What is the dress code for the company holiday retreat?  

  Dear Polite One, For the first time in as long as I can remember our company has invited the spouses of our field team members to come in for our annual holiday party.  It is listed as cocktail attire. The company is paying for airfare and hotel and wants to make this a special event. I oversee planning 2 days of events for the wives, while their spouses are in meetings including a tea, a dinner with their spouses, a tour of our office, and then a morning of shopping.   I am including an agenda along with their travel itineraries and am stuck on how to list appropriate attire for the tea and dinner (the tour and shopping are casual of course!)   I’d like them to dress nice, but don’t want it to be too fancy.  They should be able to wear the same outfit to both the tea and the dinner if they would like. We are having the tea and a tour at the historic Molly Brown House and dinner are at an Italian restaurant (chain) downtown.  I was consideri...

  Dear Polite One, Please tell me what semi-formal is for an evening business function?   Thanks, What exactly is semi-formal? Dear What Exactly is Semi-Formal, For women , semi-formal is party or cocktail attire. Since this is a business event, be careful with cleavage and nix sexy attire.  Avoid sequins, as they will appear too formal.  For men, this would mean a dark suit. Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One What to wear for a formal ball in New York? Appropriate Dinner and Dancing Charity Event Attire? What is Summer Cocktail Attire?  

  Dear Polite One, My husband and I are attending a business function tonight.  The expected attire is "Summer Cocktail Attire".  What exactly does that mean? We live in a casual region, and it is very warm here now.  Are shorts appropriate? Sincerely, Summer Cocktails Dear Summer Cocktails, Unfortunately, shorts are not appropriate for a business event unless this was a pool party.  Cocktail attire means dressy, in the same formality as a warm-weather cocktail dress .   "Summer Cocktail Attire" is not a common or proper dress code.  But we can extrapolate that since it is warmer climate, we would choose attire in the cocktail attire formality, quality material, but lighter weight.  So, choose a dress, like the little black dress (any color is fine) in lightweight material.   Your husband's attire could be country club evening attire.  Jackets are typically worn.   Sincerely, The Polite One More From ...

  Dear Polite One, What is proper attire in church? I was brought up to believe that parishioners should dress up.  That's why nicer clothes are called: Sunday's best.   Today, it seems that people dress in their gardening clothes.  Dressed in Sunday's Best Dear Dressed in Sunday's Best, Your perception of Sunday's best compared to others is most likely completely different. I too believe that church should be a place of some reverence , where one should dress more conservatively.  However, people don't come to church to compare attire choices. The reason should be to worship one's God.  So, it is probably best to forget our increasing casualness and focus on the real reason to be in church.  Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One Appropriate Dinner and Dancing Charity Event Attire? Do I remove the gloves when eating? Is it appropriate to attend a charity event solo? Attire?

  Dear Polite One, Would it be appropriate to attend a formal evening charity event solo?  Also, what would be appropriate attire for a woman ? New York in the Snow Dear New York in the Snow, Of course, you can attend solo. There's no reason not to.  In fact, you may meet new friends.  The most common attire would be an elegant black cocktail dress.  But you could wear anything within that formality.  If you chose a different color, you would stand out in the crowd, which is probably a positive.  Include some sort of wrap to keep you warm. Sincerely, The Polite One Did she enjoy her experience?   Read on Ms. New York in the Snow shared that she enjoyed every second and met other singles.  She was even invited to a few parties as a result.  Bravo! More From The Polite One What to wear to a B-movie premiere in Nashville? What to wear to the movie premiere in New York City? Is a linen suit appropriate year-...

    Dear Polite One, Is it appropriate to wear a linen suit year-round and at any time of day in warmer climates like Florida? We are invited to an upscale dinner and am worried that a white linen suit might be too casual.  Loves Linen Dear Loves Linen, Fabric and color are no longer season -dependent, but now based on climate. As such, linen is appropriate any time for these warmer climates. There are darker colors for more formal applications though, which may be best for your dinner. Even though Floridians tend to go for color, it may be best to stay with a darker colored linen suit.   Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One Formal Look for a Charity Function in Seattle Visitor’s Advice About Wearing Nylons in DC What to wear to the Bat Mitzvah

  Dear Polite One, My husband and I are attending a Bat Mitzvah at a synagogue hall, in a suburb of Detroit.  Black tie invited is expected.   So is a long, black, crepe skirt with a silver gray, crushed crepe top and black sandals for me and a black suit with suitable shirt, tie, and accessories for my husband appropriate? Bat Mitzvah Attire Dear Bat Mitzvah Attire, Perfect. You might see some tuxedos though.  But a suit is fine as well.   Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One Change of attire between red carpet premiere and gala? What is country club casual for a fund-raising charity event? Visitor’s Advice About Wearing Nylons in DC

  Dear Polite One, I've read about women asking questions about wearing nylons on your site and wanted to offer my observations.  I work in a law firm in DC.  The dress code states that women do not need to wear stockings in the summertime. Most don't wear them any part of the year.  Nylon Free Dear Nylon Free, Thank you for your advice!   Sincerely, The Polite One Keep Reading Formal Look for a Charity Function in Seattle Change of attire between red carpet premiere and gala? What is country club casual for a fund-raising charity event? 

Dear Polite One, We have been invited to a Fund Raiser Charity Event at the Claremont in Berkeley, CA.  They list “Country Club Casual” on the invitation.  Can you help what we should wear?  I’m going to wear a nice dress and heels, but I’m concerned with my husband.  What should he wear? Thank you Attire Conscious Dear Attire Conscious, Country Club Casual is golf country club attire, like nice slacks, shirts with collars, and shoes with laces.  However, as a fundraiser attire should be more formal.  I would suggest business - appropriate might be best: slacks, nice shirt, and sports jacket.   Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One What to wear to the movie premiere in New York City? Formal Look for a Charity Function in Seattle Change of attire between red carpet premiere and gala?

  Dear Polite One, I'm wearing a beautiful gown to a red-carpet event but am unsure if I should change into a cocktail dress for the gala afterward.  What is red carpet/gala attire etiquette ? Red Carpet Etiquette Dear Red-Carpet Etiquette, If the gala is directly after the premiere and it is part of the event, which it is, there is no reason to change. I doubt very much that the men would change. Wear what you want to wear. This is the type of event that gives us the chance to 'dress up'. Sincerely, The Polite One More From The Polite One Formal Look for a Charity Function in Seattle What to Wear In Freezing Winter for a Minnesota Opera? What Jewelry to Wear to a Formal Navy Ball?   

  Dear Polite One, Since business associates and clients will accompany me, what should I wear to a dinner charity auction.  Appropriate business attire is imperative.  The event is a formal gala; however, the invitation didn't reflect it. Formally Confused in Seattle Dear Formally Confused in Seattle, Formal and Seattle doesn't add up sometimes as the populace is fairly casual, somewhat like Davis , CA. The number one rule would be to nix sexy attire, but I think you realize this.  A long black gown with a jacket or shawl might be perfect.  Something with more color is fine as well. Because it is Seattle you have more choices.  The invitees will probably be dressed in a variety of styles.  But please avoid sequins and anything ultra-formal.   Enjoy! The Polite One More From The Polite One Do I remove the gloves when eating? What to wear to a B-movie premiere in Nashville? What to wear to the movie premiere in New Yo...