Got Etiquette Advice?

  Dear Polite One, We just recently completed a home remodel and had an open house party with cocktails and  horse  d'oeuvres .   Many of the roughly 100 guests brought housewarming gifts, although we didn’t expect them.   Are thank-you notes appropriate? Wonderful Friends Dear Wonderful Friends, It sounds like you are a gracious host!  Excellent.  A handwritten thank you note for gifts you receive is always a great idea.  Most sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How can I include my registries on my housewarming party invitation? Who hosts a housewarming party, when and how? What is an appropriate housewarming gift?

  Dear Polite One, I just bought my very first home and I cannot wait to make it into my little haven. I will soon host a housewarming party. How do I politely tell guests not to give me gifts? I doubt that they can match my decor and I don't want to store the gift to display it when they come over.  I'd rather just have gift cards. How can I word this on an invitation? Sincerely,                                                               Gift cards only Dear Gift Cards Only , First things first, it's not nice or polite to refuse a gift .  However, you certainly can get the word out that you'd prefer no gifts or write it on the invitation. You could tell ...

  Hi Polite One, We are going to a housewarming party at our friend's new house and have no idea what to get them for a housewarming gift.  What is an appropriate gift to give them? Wants to Please Hello Wants to Please, Although, a gift is optional you could give them anything you feel they could use in their new home. Usually, people give wine, books, flowers, candles, plants, or some sort of small decoration. One guest to my site recently suggested giving a fire extinguisher.  This is a great, life-saving idea. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Perfect housewarming gift! How can I include my registries on my housewarming party invitation? Who hosts a housewarming party, when and how?

Dear Polite One, What is the proper etiquette for hosting a housewarming party ?  As the homeowner do I host it for myself or should someone else?  Is it held at my new house? When should it be held? Do I register? Who is invited?  Without a Clue                                                Dear Without a Clue , Since the purpose of the housewarming is to warm the home with love, it is not considered a gift-giving event.  Some guests typically give small token gifts such as candles, books, or bottles of wine.   This is not an event to register for and we don't mention or expect gifts. Because the purpose is to warm the home with love, the homeowner hosts in the home and invites everyone who is important to him/her....

  Dear Polite One, How can I inform guests of my housewarming party invitation of my registries? Dear Visitor , I’m sorry, but this is never appropriate.  Since a housewarming is a party we host for ourselves, we shouldn't expect or request gifts. Registering and announcing it could appear greedy.  Plus, you are creating a gift-giving situation for yourself.  Not polite.   A housewarming is supposed to be a party to warm our home with love, not gifts. Some may give us small token gifts. Mostly, they come to visit. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How can we host a gift-less housewarming party? Perfect housewarming gift! What should I do with the gift bottle?

  Dear Polite One, My husband and I recently moved into a home we built.  We've been married for over 35 years, and although we want to host a housewarming party , we don't need anything.  We'd like to just have friends and family come to see our new home and socialize informally.  Every time I mention the idea to others, they ask where we’re registered.  The thought of registering for this seems crazy. How can we host a housewarming party without the invitees feeling obliged to gift shower-like gifts ?   Feeling Odd Dear Feeling Odd , This shower-like syndrome has made this sweet party more difficult to host. It's unfortunate.  There is no reason you can't still host this as a housewarming party.  You may have to verbally inform your guests that it isn’t a shower though.   This fad of registering for most everything is crazy, though.  People are also registering for their birthdays, graduations, and retirement parties now...

  Dear Polite One, We recently moved into a new home, and I searched online for “Housewarming Etiquette” found your site very helpful.   I wanted to share with you one housewarming gift we LOVE to give: Fire Extinguishers. You can never have too many! Perfect Gift Hello Perfect Gift, That is a wonderful idea!  I am going to offer that suggestion to everyone.     Thank you!  You probably saved lives. Warm regards, The Polite One More by The Polite One How do I politely decline offers of help? What should I do with the gift bottle? Don't Register for Housewarming Parties!

Dear Polite One, I was told that hosting one’s own housewarming party is not proper.   Is this true?  My house is not huge, but I want to open the doors to all my friends, so I don't leave anyone out.  Are there guidelines to who you invite? For example, do I only invite people I have talked to in the last 30 days before the party ?   Can I send one invitation to the people in my office, this way I hope that they will only buy one gift together, but of course, I can't assume that will happen.  Thanks, Visitor Dear Visitor, No.  That would be silly, wouldn't it?  How could someone else host your housewarming party ?  I suppose the point someone was trying to make is that we don't host a party for ourselves and tell our guests what gift to give us or expect them to provide the party, like guests furnishing the refreshments.  Consequently, we don't list registry information or write on the invitations that we prefer gif...

  Hello Polite One,   I have a problem.  A friend of mine recently purchased a home and is hosting a housewarming party next month.  She is registered with her fiancé, so guests may purchase gifts, even though they are getting married next April.  She also asked in the invite that guests BYOB, and bring a side dish, appetizer , or dessert.  I think this is asking far too much, considering her home is 2 hours from where all of us live.  She moved into a very small suburb of our city, and most people will be commuting at least 2 hours to get to her desolate home.  I gently mentioned to the hostess, that it might be too much to ask guests to bring both alcohol and food and she responded quite nastily, informing me she has a new very high mortgage and she does NOT think it asking too much.  What is the proper etiquette here? We are close enough friends I know I can give her my opinion on anything, but I would like to get your professional ...

Dear Polite One, Is it okay to have an RSVP on the invitation to a housewarming party? Sometimes I feel like that is not proper, but it’s obviously the best way to figure the amount of food and beverage. Your help would be appreciated. Thank You. Visitor Dear Visitor, It is perfectly fine to include RSVP on any party invitation.  This is a great way to gauge the amount of refreshments required. We have been receiving many questions concerning housewarming parties.  Most I don’t post on my site.  But you may want to read some of those posts. Enjoy your party! The Polite One More by The Polite One What to do About Out-of-Town Guests For Our Housewarming Party? May I Host a Housewarming Party Without Alcohol? Is There a Time Limit For Hosting a Housewarming Party?  

Dear Polite One, What is the proper phraseology to put on a housewarming invitation to indicate that gifts are "not" expected or being solicited? Becky Dear Becky, Great name, by the way. Thank you!!!   I have been having such a difficult time convincing young people that a housewarming party is not a shower .   Typically, it would not be appropriate to mention gifts on this invitation because it would imply that we were expected some.   However, I believe we will have to rethink this rule due to the trend that has been developing.   So, I believe we can borrow, "No gifts please" from birthday party invitations.   Anything along those lines is fine.   Enjoy your new home and party! Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One What to do About Out-of-Town Guests For Our Housewarming Party? May I Host a Housewarming Party Without Alcohol? Is There a Time Limit For Hosting a Housewarming Party?

  Dear Polite One ,   My family – husband, wife, and small child – will be moving to a different state, hours away by plane. We will not know anyone. So, we’d like to host a party of some sort to meet our neighbors and hopefully become friends with at least some of them. We will not have the money to have a big dinner or BBQ. What do you suggest? Also, we are totally non-drinkers and do not permit it on our property for any reason since an exceptionally large percentage of our relatives on each side are alcoholics. We do not want our son exposed to alcohol any sooner than can be helped. For health reasons, we also do not permit smoking inside our house or around our son. When we invite people over, how do we mention those two subjects without sounding judgmental? Thank you very much. Unsure Dear Unsure , An open house style of housewarming would be a great way to meet your new neighbors.  You could provide simple refreshments that you cook.  This...

  Dear Polite One, I have a situation that I need your advice with.  My sister is planning to host a housewarming "party" for her daughter, husband, and son who just moved into their first real house.  The couple have been married about 3 years and have a 20-mo. old son.  She asked some people from her church (my sister's husband is the pastor) to help with a housewarming for her daughter/son-in-law.  Then today she calls me to ask if I think "the family" would be interested in helping with this.  Personally, I didn't think this was proper for her to be initiating a housewarming party for her own daughter and secondly, I don't see why they should have one just to obtain gifts to help them furnish their new little house.  They had a household/bridal shower when they got married and haven't even unpacked many of their items simply because they haven't actually had their "own" place until now.  I really didn't know what to say...

Dear Polite One,   My husband and I are in the process of purchasing our first home. My mother-in-law mentioned that she wanted to give us a housewarming. Would this be proper etiquette? I didn't think it was.   She knew it wasn’t proper to give us showers when we got married but was not sure about the housewarming.  In these instances, do we host a housewarming as a way for our friends and family to see our new home? If someone asks to give us a housewarming, who are people that could give this properly? Thanks, Kelly Dear Kelly, I’m so glad you asked before agreeing.  This is becoming quite a problem.  Large store chains began a campaign a few years ago promoting registering for housewarmings and graduations, neither of which are considered appropriate.  We just don’t do it.  Most people find this type of behavior as crass, greedy, and tacky.  Arg, I don’t think any of us want that label.   The housewarming is sup...

  Dear Polite One , I was so pleased to find your site during my search for proper etiquette ! I've learned quite a bit about what to do and what NOT to do at Housewarming Parties. My husband was recently transferred over 200 miles from where we have lived our entire lives. We left behind all our friends and family (both sides) which as you might expect can be good and bad... We moved into our new home about a month ago and have finally unpacked the last few boxes and positioned that last bit of furniture.  I feel I'm ready to have our friends and family over for a housewarming gathering.  The problem is the distance... What is the appropriate way to handle this? The drive is about 3.5 hours and a round trip could be done in one day (but not desirable). There are several nearby hotels, but can you put that information in an invitation? We do have a guest room with one queen-size bed and a sofa bed in the living room but would not be able to accommodate all guests....