Got Etiquette Advice?

  When we lose someone near and dear, we grieve , but also have questions.   I can’t help with the grieving process, but I can do this... May I wait 6 Months to Host Memorial Services? Dear Polite One , I was just wondering if you know of any rules or guidelines concerning the timing of memorial services.  Is there a time limit as to how many days/weeks/months one can wait to have a service for a loved one who's passed?  Is it acceptable to wait 6 months for an entire group of family and friends to all be available to come together to collectively honor one who is gone?  Many Questions Dear Many Questions, Please accept my sincerest sympathies for your loss. There is no set timeline and is a personal decision.  Sometimes this type of gathering must be hosted weeks after the person has passed.  However, typically the memorial is held within the first month.  This is not a rule, just an observation.  That said, it is perfectl...

  Dear Polite One, Is there a time limit on sending thank-you notes after a funeral? My father's funeral was two months ago and I haven't sent any out yet.  Grateful but sad Dear Grateful but Sad, Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.   In my opinion, it is never too late to say (or write) thank you. Ideally, you would send your thank-you notes within a month.  However, this is not usually the case; the bereaved usually take much longer.  This is understandable. So, take your time, but please write them. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Ms. or Mrs. for a divorced woman? Listing “No Children” and “Monetary Gifts” on the Invitation? She is hosting her party and asking for gifts!

Dear Polite One, Should I send a card to my mother for her anniversary if my father has recently passed ? Worried about Mom Dear Worried about Mom , I am sincerely sorry for your loss.  This must be a difficult time for all of you.  It is especially trying for the parent who is grieving. Although an anniversary is an important date and should not be ignored, an off-the-rack card would not be appropriate.   A handwritten note mentioning a time all of you shared, including your feelings would be priceless.  A visit would be even better.  Your presence may help relieve the pain. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card? How to address the envelope to the reverend?

Dear Polite One, I very recently lost both my parents.  Do I send one thank-you card to those who sent flowers, food, etc., for both parents? Missing my Parents Dear Missing my Parents, Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.   Yes, an acknowledgment of condolence letters—not off-the-rack cards—gifts, and food is expected.  But this is an unusual circumstance.  It is perfectly fine to send one acknowledgment per gift, food, etc.  It is unnecessary to send two cards just because the flowers and gifts were for two people.  Warm regards, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?

Dear Polite One: Do I need to write thank-you notes for condolence cards?  I will acknowledge those who sent flowers and paid Shiva calls.   Sincerely, Curious Dear Curious, Please accept my condolence on your loss.  It is expected to send thank-you notes out to those who send condolence letters, but not for off-the-rack cards.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to address the envelope to the reverend? Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?

  Dear Polite One , How do I address the envelope of the thank-you note to the reverend who officiated at my husband's funeral service?  Also, how should I list him in my letter? Lost Dear Lost, I am sincerely sorry for your loss .   It's best to check the church's website.  If nothing is listed about his credentials, it may be best to call and find out what he prefers.  If he has a Ph.D., address him as Doctor Name. If he has no doctorate, address him as The Reverend Name on the envelope and Dear Reverend Name in your letter.     Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?  

Dear Polite One, Everyone in our office wonders if a group condolence card is appropriate for a co-worker who just lost her mother. Wondering Dear Wondering, Group sympathy cards are fine when it comes to co-workers , but never with those who are close like friends and family.  The group card with co-workers' messages usually helps the bereaved feel as if they are thinking of him. Please include a special little note with signatures. My sympathy goes out to the bereaved. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to address an envelope to a married woman who kept her maiden name? Should I use the title “Dr.” for social correspondence? Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card?  

  Dear Polite One, Is a thank you card obligatory when one has received a sympathy card ? Thank you, Wondering Dear Wondering, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.   The bereaved is only expected to write thank-you notes for flowers, special favors, and condolence letters, within a month. However, most realize that this is a time for grieving.   Take your time if you need to. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Which name is listed first on an envelope? How to address an envelope to a married woman who kept her maiden name?