Got Etiquette Advice?

    Dear Polite One, My husband's work-related retirement party will be at a restaurant--employer pays for only current employees.  We are allowed to invite others to the party, but I'm at a loss of how to word the invitations, informing them that they will be expected to pay their own check? Thanks, Worried Wife Dear Worried Wife , This is one of the very few exceptions to the "you invite so you pay" rules.  Basically, the reason for the exception is it's organized through the employer.   Contact the restaurant to find out the fee they expect the invited to pay.  It is most common for it to be a choice of predetermined entrees.    Then you could send out an invitation like: Share in celebrating Sam's retirement at Happy Restaurant, 5 pm, Friday, March 1. Happy Restaurant is offering XX, XX, and XX for $$ per person. Please contact XXX for more information.  Hope to see you there.  I would also call each guest t...

  Dear Polite One, I am planning my father's retirement party .  Is it proper manners to include a money tree so my father might receive a nice vacation?   Cash for Dad Dear Cash for Dad, Sorry, but this is not considered a gift-giving event.  Some may give a small gift , but it is never appropriate to expect or request one.  Plus, money trees (yikes!) are viewed very negatively.      Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How do I inform guests of attire, gift request and they pay for meals? How can I include my registries on my housewarming party invitation? Who hosts a housewarming party, when and how?

  Dear Polite One, I’m hosting my retiring husband a dinner and dance.  Guest are required to pay for their meal, but I will pay for all gratuities, which comes to a pretty penny.  How do I convey this on the invitation, plus that gifts are welcome, and the event is formal?  I expect guests to dress in black tie.  How do I inform guests? Wife of retiree Dear Wife of Retiree, There is a very simple rule: you invite, you pay.  Guests should never be expected to pay for the party.  If he wants a party , he needs to pay for it.  So, if this party is too expensive, it should be revised or scaled-down.  Requesting gifts is another social faux pas.  It's just not good manners.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Who hosts a housewarming party, when and how? What is an appropriate housewarming gift? Are favors appropriate for a religious event?

  Dear Polite One, How should I reschedule a  retirement party?  Do I send another invitation? Gasp! Dear Gasp! It depends on the number of people you need to contact and your time constraints.  If there is little time and/or it is a small intimate group, call guests about your planning changes. Alternately, if it is a larger group, calling all of them may be time prohibitive.  So, you may have to send another invitation with the new information, including your phone number in case anyone needs more information.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-Law How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor?