Got Etiquette Advice?

  Dear Polite One , My aunt is hosting a baby shower for me soon.  Because she has limited space, I was asked to provide just a few names. Imagine my aunt's surprise, and mine, when my mother-in-law invited several people on her own.  Now I feel embarrassed and more than a little angry.  We left some close family out due to space.   What should I do?                      Sincerely, Hurt daughter-in-law.              Dear Hurt daughter-in-law, I am so sorry your mother-in-law added this stress at this time.  It was inexcusable.  Does your husband realize what his mother did? If not, it may be best to mention it to him along with how you feel about it. You two should stand together on this and nip this type of behavior in the bud.  If he can't or won't for whatever reason, ...

  How to deal with freeloading in-laws? Dear Polite One,  Our married son recently received his Air Force wings.  As a former Navy pilot, my husband is especially proud, as am I.  So, we wanted to be there with him to attend his acceptance ceremony.  His in-laws insisted on attending as well, which on the face of it sounds wonderful. However, my son and his wife live in a small apartment with little spare room for guests.  Her parents arrived before us and stayed with them, forcing us to lodge a hotel room; we didn’t want to crowd them too much and be a burden.  We all went out for dinner celebrating our son’s achievement and the in-laws didn’t offer to pay their part.  Out of respect for our daughter-in-law, we paid for all of it. This is not the first time and I doubt it will be the last.  They impeded on our time with our son and freeload on our generosity.  I need relationship etiquette advice on how to deal with them in the ...

  When an in-law’s behavior suddenly changes after the birth of their first grandchild, one is left wondering why.  Is it jealousy or simply finally displaying what was once hidden? This young mother is experiencing exactly that.  What should she do?  Dear Polite One,  My mother-in-law appears to hate me since the birth of our baby.  They love our daughter and take pictures of her and my husband but ignores me.  The hurt has been building, but I haven’t wanted to say anything. Now my husband can see it as well, as his mother will tell him to take the baby from me so she can get a picture.  I don’t know what has changed in our relationship, but she now refers to me as “she” and “her”.  She won’t even say my name.  Even though my husband sees what is going on, he won’t confront his mother or try to include me when his mother openly excludes me.  I’m beginning to resent him nearly as much as her at this point.  What can I d...