Got Etiquette Advice?

  How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names.  If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith.  Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is ...

  Dear Polite One , How does one address heterosexual domestic partners with a child ? The child has the last name of the father. The child's middle name is the mother's last name. How should envelopes be addressed? How should the inside of a formal letter/invitation and informal letter/invitation be addressed? Sue Smith and Frank Jones and Zak    The Smith-Jones Family                      Mr. Frank Jones and Ms. Sue Smith and Son (or Zak) Should their signatures read Sue Smith, Frank Jones, and Zak Smith-Jones or Frank, Sue, and Zak? Confused Dear Confused, The formal invitation uses two envelopes.  The outer would read Mr. Frank Jones and Ms. Sue Smith on two lines.  The inner envelope would read Mr. Jones, Ms. Smith, Zak Smith Jones all on separate lines.  The informal invitation would read the Jones-Smith F...

  Dear Polite One, What is the proper salutation for a married couple: wife is a doctor , husband is not?  Wondering Dear Wondering, When the doctor is female, the names on the invitation could be separate, such as Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith; on the next line, her name is mentioned first because she holds the higher title.  It could also be: Dr. Jane and John Smith. If the doctor is male, the invitation would read Dr. and Mrs. John Smith.  It is also common and proper to drop the Dr. and just use Mr. and Mrs.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Ms. or Mrs. for a divorced woman? Listing “No Children” and “Monetary Gifts” on the Invitation? She is hosting her party and asking for gifts!

  Dear Polite One, I would like to send flowers to my pastor, who recently had surgery ,  and his wife.  I am not sure how I should have the card addressed.  At church, we call him Pastor or Pastor Smith. We call his wife Jane. Should I put Jane and John Smith, John and Jane Smith, or Pastor and Mrs. John Smith, or is there another option?   Thank you, Visitor from Georgia Dear Visitor from Georgia, It's a very nice gesture for you to send flowers. And the traditional way to address the card would be: Pastor and Mrs. John Smith.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Ms. or Mrs. for a divorced woman? Listing “No Children” and “Monetary Gifts” on the Invitation? She is hosting her party and asking for gifts!

  Dear Polite One, I'm proud of my doctor husband and want my family and friends to list him as Doctor on envelopes.  My family members find this odd and won't follow my wishes. They always address him as Mr.  This upsets me greatly and I feel it is an insult.  They feel that it is a bit brash to expect my husband to be addressed as "Doctor" by family.  Our friends don't have an issue with this though. Proud Wife Dear Proud Wife, I understand your feelings as one must work extremely hard for many years to become a doctor.  I'm sure you and your husband struggled the same.  However, it is not typical for a family to use " Doctor " when addressing envelopes.  It is considered too formal.   Your family should introduce your husband as Doctor Name to others though.  This is most polite. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor? Which name is listed first on a...

  Dear Polite One, With so many females keeping their maiden names after marrying, how I address correspondences to them?   Confused Dear Confused, Many times, women keep their maiden names to retain career identity.  This is her name no matter what her marital status is.  So, if the correspondence is primarily to her, list it like the following. Ms. Jane Brown Mr. John Smith If listed on the same line, add an "and."  Ms. Jane Brown and Mr. John Smith If you don't know her husband's name, you could use this example. Ms. Jane Brown and family. If the correspondence is primarily to her husband , list his name first. Mr. John Smith Ms. Jane Brown However, if this is a social correspondence and one is a doctor or holds a title (officer or similar), this person would be listed first. General John Smith and Ms/Mrs. Jane Brown. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-...

  Dear Polite One, My husband and I disagree on the proper way to address envelopes to couples . I say to list the woman's name first, followed by the man.  And if there are children, they are listed in order of age (oldest to youngest).   My husband thinks the man’s name is listed first.  Who is correct?  I have a dinner out hanging on your answer.  Regards, Addressing envelopes Dear Addressing Envelopes, I hope you have your dinner selection picked out.  A strange old rule not taught anymore, but still followed, state that the man's first name is never separated from his last (Jane and James Smith).   This isn't set in stone, and some find it very silly and stifling.  It really is an individual choice on personal correspondence.  I would still follow the old rule for correspondence when addressing older people or more formal situations, like weddings. However, when you are including children, there is still only one rule. Children...

Hi Polite One, I am confused about when to address a Ph.D. as Dr. or Doctor Name.  Does it make a difference where the person works or what type of doctorate the person has? Needs a Doctor Dear Needs a Doctor, The main rule is that we would want to address the person as he or she wishes to be addressed.  In many cases, it is best to play it safe and address an envelope to Dr. Name.    Nevertheless, those in academia/research and medical field are addressed as Doctor/Dr for social and business situations.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-Law How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor?  

Dear Polite One, I am a doctor and need to send out invitations.  Is the form correct for my return address: Sam and Dr. Jane Brown?  Doc Brown Dear Doc Brown, Although this form is not too off, this is the best form: Dr. Jan and Mr. Sam Brown.  You are mentioned first because of your status .  Plus, there is a silly old rule about not separating a man from his last name.  Hence the “Mr. Sam Brown.” The Polite One More by The Polite One How to List Names in the Class Reunion Directory Importance of Thank You Notes Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-Law

  The wife is a doctor, so how to address the envelope? Dear Polite One,   I am a doctor and need to send out invitations.  Is the form correct for my return address: Sam and Dr. Jane Brown.     Doc Brown Dear Doc Brown,   Although this form is not too off, this is the best form: Dr. Jan and Mr. Sam Brown.  You are mentioned first because of your status.     The Polite One How to acknowledge an anniversary after my sister’s death? Dear Polite One,   My sister passed away last year.  This is my brother-in-law's first year without her for what would have been their 40th anniversary .  I want to let him know that he is still family even though she is gone and acknowledge the anniversary somehow.  Would a card be appropriate?   Visitor Dear Visitor,   Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.    A letter might be the best way of conveying your feelings,...

Proper Correspondence of Our Times The world of proper correspondence has changed since the days of leaving  calling cards  at neighbor's doors.  With our cellphones and computers, we can stay in touch with those even thousands of miles away.  Evites and a text reply are commonplace.  Nevertheless, some things resist change.  Certain thank-you notes and all condolence letters are best handwritten and mailed by post. What follows are answers to questions covering proper etiquette in today's world of correspondence. Q:  A new friend's mother just died in an accident.  I would like to send a  sympathy letter , but I am not quite sure what to write. I had just met him hours before he received the phone call about his mom's accident.  Since I do not know him well enough to know anything about him personally, I'm unsure where to begin.  I also want to make sure not to write anything inappropriate....