Got Etiquette Advice?

    Dear Polite One, I received a large monetary gift from a relative.  She stated that she would rather distribute it while she is still living and get joy from seeing how it is used.  I thanked her verbally when I received it and would like to know what the proper follow-up is.   She and I both live in the same small town and I visit her frequently.  Should I still send a written thank-you note through the mail, or give it to her when I visit her this week or is a verbal thank you appropriate? Thank you for your suggestions. Thankful Dear Thankful, Generally, a verbal thank you is fine when you receive a gift face to face.  However, a handwritten thank-you card sent by snail mail is more personal and very proper. Most sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One What is a good thank-you gift for my city bus driver? No Gift Hubby! What’s a Wife to do? Was it wrong to give a gift to her husband?

  Dear Polite One, We just recently completed a home remodel and had an open house party with cocktails and  horse  d'oeuvres .   Many of the roughly 100 guests brought housewarming gifts, although we didn’t expect them.   Are thank-you notes appropriate? Wonderful Friends Dear Wonderful Friends, It sounds like you are a gracious host!  Excellent.  A handwritten thank you note for gifts you receive is always a great idea.  Most sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How can I include my registries on my housewarming party invitation? Who hosts a housewarming party, when and how? What is an appropriate housewarming gift?

  Dear Polite One, My city bus driver is very nice and always waits for me at the bus stop before she leaves.  She always goes above the expected. What kind of gift is appropriate to give her as thanks? Thanks, Tracie Dear Tracie, Great question!   We should acknowledge those with whom we have a relationship or who have assisted us.  The holidays are a perfect time to do this, but we can give our thanks any time.  Since the bus driver isn't a close friend, it is best to give her something generic, but thoughtful and not too expensive.  Use what you know about her.  Does she always wear cute little pins on her uniform?  Does she always have a Starbucks coffee on her dash?  Those are clues to thoughtful gifts you could give.  Perhaps she loves to read.  Try to find out as much as possible in a few days to make a good choice.   A gift card of $20-$25 is a good amount to a coffee shop or bookstore is...

  A thank you note is such a small thing, yet so enormously powerful in our personal and professional life.  Please master this skill.   Dear Polite One, My husband and I were recently invited to the home of one of his co-workers for dinner who is a talented chef. We brought a bottle of wine and flowers. We, with three other couples, enjoyed a wonderful dinner and conversation, etc.  Is it proper to send a thank-you note for a most enjoyable evening? Visitor from Worcester, Massachusetts Dear Visitor from Worcester, Massachusetts, Yes, it is.  I'm so glad that you asked me.  Many are forgetting the nicety of writing thank-you notes for a dinner invitation to another’s home.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One “One gift per invitee." How many gifts? Ms. or Mrs. for a divorced woman? Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-Law

Dear Polite One, I very recently lost both my parents.  Do I send one thank-you card to those who sent flowers, food, etc., for both parents? Missing my Parents Dear Missing my Parents, Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.   Yes, an acknowledgment of condolence letters—not off-the-rack cards—gifts, and food is expected.  But this is an unusual circumstance.  It is perfectly fine to send one acknowledgment per gift, food, etc.  It is unnecessary to send two cards just because the flowers and gifts were for two people.  Warm regards, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?

Dear Polite One: Do I need to write thank-you notes for condolence cards?  I will acknowledge those who sent flowers and paid Shiva calls.   Sincerely, Curious Dear Curious, Please accept my condolence on your loss.  It is expected to send thank-you notes out to those who send condolence letters, but not for off-the-rack cards.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to address the envelope to the reverend? Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?

  Dear Polite One , How do I address the envelope of the thank-you note to the reverend who officiated at my husband's funeral service?  Also, how should I list him in my letter? Lost Dear Lost, I am sincerely sorry for your loss .   It's best to check the church's website.  If nothing is listed about his credentials, it may be best to call and find out what he prefers.  If he has a Ph.D., address him as Doctor Name. If he has no doctorate, address him as The Reverend Name on the envelope and Dear Reverend Name in your letter.     Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Do I need to write a thank you card for a sympathy card? In the workplace, may we send a group condolence card?  

  Dear Polite One, Is a thank you card obligatory when one has received a sympathy card ? Thank you, Wondering Dear Wondering, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.   The bereaved is only expected to write thank-you notes for flowers, special favors, and condolence letters, within a month. However, most realize that this is a time for grieving.   Take your time if you need to. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Importance of Thank You Notes Which name is listed first on an envelope? How to address an envelope to a married woman who kept her maiden name?

As you can imagine, over the decades, I have received thousands of questions.  Many of those concerned  who to give,  when to send,  and how to write thank-you notes/letters.  What follows is a handy-dandy thank-you note reminder.   Remember to write your thank you notes! When to Send Thank You Notes Mandatory Thank You Notes A  wedding  present Flowers and generous deeds after the death of a loved one Staying in someone's home For gifts not opened in the giver's presence Nice Gesture Special favors For an invitation to a party For an invitation to a special dinner invitation Similar Posts How to Deal With Sticky Family Issues Importance of Thank You Notes Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-Law  

  Is it too late to write thank you notes to those who gave flowers and cards? When a thank-you note is expected, typically we write and mail them promptly.   But how about thanking those for flowers and other generous deeds after the death of a loved one?   Follow along and learn how we deal with this delicate issue.   Dear Polite One, I sent most of the thank you notes to those who sent cards, flowers, and attended my 25-year-old son's funeral last year.   But I couldn't bring myself to write more personal notes to those I had intended to. Is there another option for the thank you card or do I need to write these?  Is it too late?  Thank you,   Still grieving Dear Still grieving,  I am sincerely sorry.    Thank you, cards or notes are obligatory to those, who sent flowers or performed special favors. So, if you have already sent these cards out, you're fine.  If you still want t...

Proper Correspondence of Our Times The world of proper correspondence has changed since the days of leaving  calling cards  at neighbor's doors.  With our cellphones and computers, we can stay in touch with those even thousands of miles away.  Evites and a text reply are commonplace.  Nevertheless, some things resist change.  Certain thank-you notes and all condolence letters are best handwritten and mailed by post. What follows are answers to questions covering proper etiquette in today's world of correspondence. Q:  A new friend's mother just died in an accident.  I would like to send a  sympathy letter , but I am not quite sure what to write. I had just met him hours before he received the phone call about his mom's accident.  Since I do not know him well enough to know anything about him personally, I'm unsure where to begin.  I also want to make sure not to write anything inappropriate....