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Etiquette is Logical Q and A

 Questions

Etiquette is basically the protocol we use in any given situation.  It is the behavior expected of us.  Still, not everyone is comfortable with their knowledge of what is considered proper or appropriate.  On an average day, I will receive questions about all aspects of etiquette. Here are a few questions from some of our readers. 

One thing you may notice in my responses is that the etiquette I suggest makes sense.  It is logical. 

Shirtless Party?

Hi Polite One,

Is it improper to go shirtless on a hot summer day at a backyard barbeque with friends and close family members?

Shirtless

Dear Shirtless,

If this is a pool party, it would be fine as many would be shirtless and in swimsuits.  However, if it is simply a dinner party or gathering, it is best to remain clothed.  Ask yourself if it would be an appropriate time for the ladies to be wearing swimsuits or go shirtless.  If the answer is no, then the men should wear shirts also.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

What Type of Grapes Are Used in Pinot Noir Wine?

Dear Polite One,

I have been told that true pinot noir grape wine is made from two grape varietals, neither of which is called pinot noir. What are they?

Wine Newbie

Dear Wine Newbie,

Your informant is misinformed.  Pinot Noir wine is made from Pinot Noir grapes.  Winemakers can and often do blend their wines with other grapes to create a particular balance or flavor.  Each decides what grapes are best for his wines.  Even then, if the wine bottle is labeled “Pinot Noir,” the majority of grapes must be Pinot Noir or it cannot be labeled as such.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

No Hat Zone

Dear Polite One,

My question is regarding my husband’s hats.  Yes, he takes his hat off at the table but then he puts it ON THE TABLE.  It’s shocking to me, but he doesn’t see my point of view.  He leaves his baseball caps and running hats on kitchen counters as well.

In addition to bad manners, I think it’s not hygienic.  He argues that he doesn’t know where to put it.  I suggest that it should go in the coat area.
Or, if there isn’t one, perhaps he could put it on the back of his chair?

Can you back me up on this one?

Can the Hats

Dear Can the Hats,

You win this argument!

You are correct this is extremely poor behavior on many levels.  The hat should not be seen in the home, not at the table or in any rooms.  It should be placed in a closet when he enters the house. 

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

Must I Pay Her Restaurant Tab?

Dear Polite One,

I have a question on etiquette when it comes to ordering a round of drinks and "splitting the bill." I was at a restaurant and didn't order much food though those around me ate a full dinner.  One of the people ordered a round of shots.

When the bill came, the person who ordered the round of drinks said, "Let's just split the bill equally."  I confronted her about her ordering the round of drinks and that she should pay for them.  Her reply: "You drank it, you pay for it." I totally disagree - what does etiquette say?

No Split Decision

Dear No Split Decision,

I completely agree with you and so does etiquette.  He, or she in this case, who orders is the person who pays.  It is the same as when someone invites.  He who invites is the person who pays.  And as for splitting the bill…you should only have to pay for what you ordered unless agreed on another method in the beginning. 

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

How do I politely decline offers of help?

What should I do with the gift bottle?

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