How to handle impolite friends?

What is friend etiquette?

Hello Polite One,

Have two friends who fight because one is jealous of the other. Both put me in the middle because I'm friends with both of them. It's frustrating! I still want to be friends with both, but I'm tired of the fighting. Neither is right, but neither is wrong. It's just wrong to want me to fix their problems. What is the friend etiquette here? And how to deal with my friends?

Pulled Apart by Friends

Dear Pulled Apart by Friends,

It may be best to change the rules all of you have been playing by in the past. There is nothing wrong with telling them not to put you in the middle. Inform both that you want to be friends with each of them, but that you don't want to hear anything negative about the other. Be firm that you won't take sides. This way you can be friends with both and not be viewed as taking sides.

Regards,

The Polite One

She Hurts My Feelings!

Dear Polite One,

My best friend and I enjoy the same things and, for the most part, we get along just fine. But occasionally, she'll say something like, "My friend Jessie and I had so much fun at my sleepover last night" which makes me jealous and hurts my feelings. I'm left wondering why I wasn't invited and if she is closer to "Jessie" than to me. I don't like feeling like this. How should I handle my impolite friend?

Jealous

Dear Jealous,

I would imagine that your friend doesn’t know she is being impolite. Perhaps she likes having a few close friends and doesn't think of any more important than another. After all, you say that you two get along “just fine” and enjoy doing the same things. So, she does like you. I would suggest continuing doing what you are doing and hopefully, your friendship will grow stronger. Be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. Try to remember what is important to her, like her birthday and her parent's anniversary (if she discusses it).

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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