Changing the Date and Asking Guests to Pay for the Party

How do I politely change the date of the party?

Hosting a party involves a responsibility to cater to guests with their comfort as most important. In a nutshell, this means that the host provides the entire event: a convenient time and date, all refreshments, and a pleasant atmosphere. What follows are answers to two party-planning questions.

Dear Polite One,

A majority of guests I invited to a holiday cocktail party already have plans, so I'd like to change the party date to the following week so everyone could attend. Is this proper etiquette and if so how do I politely do so?

Host

Dear Host,

The holiday season can be hectic, plans change often, so it is appropriate to change the date of your party. However, it may have to call everyone due to time constraints.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

How to ask guests to pay for their meals?

Dear Polite One,

I am hosting a surprise party for my sister at a restaurant, but I'm not paying for everyone's dinner. How should I word this on the invite? How to ask guests to pay for their meals?

Thanks,

No host party

Dear No host,

I'm sorry but it is impolite to invite guests to a party and expect them to host (pay). So, there is no polite wording to use on your invitations. If you cannot afford to pay all guests' costs, it is best to host the party you can afford to host. Perhaps rent a cheaper room and provide inexpensive refreshments. Often cities have inexpensive rooms to rent that are usually used for parks and recreation classes. If that fails, it might be best to host it at a home.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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Comments

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Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode a Dress Code Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove

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