Changing the Date and Asking Guests to Pay for the Party

How do I politely change the date of the party?

Hosting a party involves a responsibility to cater to guests with their comfort as most important. In a nutshell, this means that the host provides the entire event: a convenient time and date, all refreshments, and a pleasant atmosphere. What follows are answers to two party-planning questions.

Dear Polite One,

A majority of guests I invited to a holiday cocktail party already have plans, so I'd like to change the party date to the following week so everyone could attend. Is this proper etiquette and if so how do I politely do so?

Host

Dear Host,

The holiday season can be hectic, plans change often, so it is appropriate to change the date of your party. However, it may have to call everyone due to time constraints.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

How to ask guests to pay for their meals?

Dear Polite One,

I am hosting a surprise party for my sister at a restaurant, but I'm not paying for everyone's dinner. How should I word this on the invite? How to ask guests to pay for their meals?

Thanks,

No host party

Dear No host,

I'm sorry but it is impolite to invite guests to a party and expect them to host (pay). So, there is no polite wording to use on your invitations. If you cannot afford to pay all guests' costs, it is best to host the party you can afford to host. Perhaps rent a cheaper room and provide inexpensive refreshments. Often cities have inexpensive rooms to rent that are usually used for parks and recreation classes. If that fails, it might be best to host it at a home.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

How did the American method begin?

Comments

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Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Guests Contribute to College Fund Dear Polite One , My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund. He has enough toys and I must consider his future. How do I list this on the invitation? Will an evite work? Wants Donations Dear Wants Donations, I’m sorry but this would be most impolite . Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday. If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts. This would be best. Good luck! Sincerely, The Polite One Host Wants Guests to Host Dear Polite One, What should I do? My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party. Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course. Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child. Help! Dear Help! Yikes! This i...

How to handle impolite friends?

What is friend etiquette? Hello Polite One, Have two friends who fight because one is jealous of the other. Both put me in the middle because I'm friends with both of them. It's frustrating! I still want to be friends with both, but I'm tired of the fighting. Neither is right, but neither is wrong. It's just wrong to want me to fix their problems. What is the friend etiquette here? And how to deal with my friends? Pulled Apart by Friends Dear Pulled Apart by Friends, It may be best to change the rules all of you have been playing by in the past. There is nothing wrong with telling them not to put you in the middle. Inform both that you want to be friends with each of them, but that you don't want to hear anything negative about the other. Be firm that you won't take sides. This way you can be friends with both and not be viewed as taking sides. Regards, The Polite One She Hurts My Feelings! Dear Polite One, ...

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