Skip to main content

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Child's birthday party, guests pay, good manners

Guests Contribute to College Fund

Dear Polite One,

My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund.  He has enough toys and I must consider his future.  How do I list this on the invitation?  Will an evite work?

Wants Donations

Dear Wants Donations,

I’m sorry but this would be most impolite.  Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday.  If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts.  This would be best.

Good luck!

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Host Wants Guests to Host

Dear Polite One,

What should I do?  My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party.  Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course.  Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child.

Help!

Dear Help!

Yikes!  This is most impolite.  The host should never expect—or demand—guests pay for the party

This is difficult since it involves your daughter’s best friend.  So, it appears you have little choice.  Either you pay up and grumble or decline the invitation risking your daughter’s hurt feelings. 

If you decide to pay and grumble, attend and smile.  If not, be honest with your child about why you made this decision.

There is a third, albeit risky, alternative.  If you are close, or even on speaking terms, with the mother, you could inform her that you’ve read—heard, know, etc—that it is a major no-no to ask guests to pay.  You could frame it such that it appears you are trying to save her from embarrassment.

Good luck!

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Host Wants Guests to Pay

Dear Polite One, 

My daughter is invited to a friend's birthday party for which we are expected to pay for the meal and a gift. Shouldn't the host (parent of the birthday child) pay for the party? What is proper birthday party etiquette? 

Thanks

Aghast in Alabama

Dear Aghast in Alabama, 

I'm aghast as well.  Yikes!  Guests should never be expected to open their wallets. Hosts provide the "entire" party. Additionally, hosts never request gifts, even for a child's birthday party.  

Sincerely, 

The Polite One

Similar Posts

 How-to Plan Your Child's Birthday Party

Opening Gifts During a Child's Birthday Party: Yes or No?

Do I give a gift or what? 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing.   At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests.   I’m sure that’s not the case.   Still...      Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event.   So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage.   This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds.   So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women.    Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive.   Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode a Dress Code Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

  How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names.  If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith.  Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is a Doctor!   How to

How to address a divorced woman? Mrs or Ms?

  Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!