My daughter didn’t receive a gift, but all others did. What to do?

Dear Polite One,

For some reason, my adult niece gave gifts to all the children at our Christmas party except my 12-year-old. I was stunned.

Since we never discussed a cutoff age for gift-giving, should I ask her if the gift was misplaced. My daughter needs to write a thank you note if there was a gift. If she didn't give, should I still give gifts to her child?

Thank you.

Stunned

Dear Stunned,

I am so sorry and hope your daughter wasn't too humiliated. Your niece should have mentioned the missing gift before the party, so you could have discussed it with your daughter.

It wouldn't be appropriate to contact her about the gift because it might appear as if you are requesting one. However, you might want to talk to her about future gift-giving situations stating that you noticed that she doesn't seem to want to give to older children anymore. This could give you the information you need, plus it needs to be resolved before the next family event.

It is your choice to give to her child or not. If she gave to yours up to this year, it seems fair to continue until her child is 12. But, then again, it is your choice.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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