Brother agreed to no gifts but gave anyway. What to do?

Dear Polite One,

My brother and I agreed not to exchange gifts due to financial constraints. Imagine my surprise when, as an early family Christmas gathering, gifts were exchanged including one from my brother and his wife.

I was mortified in front of the entire family, as I was empty-handed. What should I do now? Should I give them a gift? I feel cheap and embarrassed.

Mortified and embarrassed

Dear Mortified and Embarrassed,

It sounds as if your sister-in-law loves to give. It makes her happy. She knew about your deal with her husband/your brother, so she must realize that gifts were not in the mix.

It was her decision to give, so you are not obligated to reciprocate in kind. Homemade cookies or candy, something from the heart, might be appropriate if you wish to give. Other than that, don't worry, smile, and say thank you for her need to give.

Giving is more than simply buying, wrapping, and presenting a store-bought present. Friendship and a smile are priceless.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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