How to Handle a Host Who Isn't Hosting a Restaurant Dinner

Hello Polite One,

I need help with the following scenario!

I have been invited to dinner by my sister-in-law. Mother-in-law and another sister-in-law will also be in attendance. My sister-in-law said to me that I may invite others as well. I find this sticky/difficult, for several reasons.

Several of the parties are not friendly with one another.
Inviting the person(s) says you are paying for dinner; that’s not happening
If guests are limited, others will be offended they were not invited.

Sincerely,

Tarole

Dear Tarole,

Hello there!

You have a perfect out. You could inform your sister-in-law that you don't feel comfortable inviting people to another's affair. Plus, it is even more uncomfortable because guests would have to pay for themselves...this is awkward for you.

If she insists that this isn't a problem for her, just stay firm stating that you really don't feel comfortable with it. Then you could follow up with the fact that this way you will be focused on family members and not your friends.

I hope that will stave off any more comments.

Good luck with the fam! They can be trying.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

Hostess Gift, Buffets, and Dietary Dilemmas

Two Tips for New Relationships

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode ...

How to address an envelope to a married woman who kept her maiden name?

Dear Polite One, With so many females keeping their maiden names after marrying, how I address correspondences to them? Confused Dear Confused, Many times, women keep their maiden names to retain career identity. This is her name no matter what her marital status is. So, if the correspondence is primarily to her, list it like the following. Ms. Jane Brown Mr. John Smith If listed on the same line, add an "and." Ms. Jane Brown and Mr. John Smith If you don't know her husband's name, you could use this example. Ms. Jane Brown and family. If the correspondence is primarily to her husband , list his name first. Mr. John Smith Ms. Jane Brown However, if this is a social correspondence and one is a doctor or holds a title (officer or similar), this person would be listed first. General John Smith and Ms/Mrs. Jane Brown. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-...

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names. If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith. Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is ...

Got Etiquette Advice?

Search This Blog