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Two Tips for New Relationships

New relationships, gifts, attending family wedding

Ah, new relationships...so sweet.  Still, at times it seems we’re walking on ice as if we have to watch every step or slip right through into cold water.  Do I do this, that, or go in a different direction.  Too many questions and variables.  Perhaps these two situations may clear up some doubts. 

Should I give a gift to a new boyfriend?

Hello Polite One,  

I am in a new relationship, just a few months of romantic bliss.  With the holidays approaching, I was wondering if I should give him a gift.  On one hand, I'd like to give him a gift but on the other, I don’t want to make him feel obligated to return the favor.   

What does dating and relationship etiquette dictate?   

Thank You, 

Visitor

Dear Visitor, 

Gifts are always optional even when a relationship grows into something more. However, it isn’t wrong to give him a gift.  A great, non-committal type, a gift would be a movie that you two enjoyed together. It is a gift you might even give to a friend.  So, it is less likely that he would feel guilty if he didn't buy you anything, and yet it is quite thoughtful.  

Sincerely, 

The Polite One

What to do about being excluded from a family wedding?

Dear Polite One,   

My boyfriend of 2-years has been invited to a family wedding.  I’ve spent time with all his family members and we appeared to be close.  In fact, they all assume we will be family when we two finish college.  I haven’t received my invitation yet, even though they have invited more than 150 guests.  I feel hurt to be excluded from such an event. 

My boyfriend is surprised that I am not invited but thinks that maybe they didn’t have enough space for me. What should I do? Should I say something?   

Hurt

Dear Hurt, 

Let’s take a breather here.   You may not have been intentionally omitted from the wedding. Stranger things have happened than a missing wedding invitation.  I suggest asking your boyfriend to ask his family if you are invited.   If you are not, then they probably have a good reason.  The reason wouldn’t be to hurt you.  As a family, which you are now with or without marriage, we try to understand space issues in weddings/receptions.  These things happen. Sometimes we have to invite people we would rather not and leave out those we would rather have. 

The Polite One

Update:  The invitation her boyfriend received was supposed to include her, so she was invited!  

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