Some
have a problem with boundaries, even family.
As much as we may love them, we may not want them in our home for more than
a short visit. This is especially troublesome
when the reluctant host is not predisposed to hospitality. But what is the politest way to deal with
this issue? Let’s find out.
Aloha Polite
One,
I
have a question about how to approach my mother about her intrusive ways.
My husband and I currently live 3,000 away from my family and enjoy privacy. In a few months, we will be moving much closer, about 600 miles
away.
My
mom has mentioned that she is thrilled that we will be closer so that
she can visit. She is currently stopping by my sister’s house
without notice and inviting herself to stay the night. My fear is that
she will drive a long way to my house and expect to stay however long she
likes.
This
will be a problem for me and my husband, as she will wear out her welcome
very quickly. I'd like to approach her about this before it becomes a
problem. I've thought about telling her that my husband values our privacy,
but I think I need to be more direct. What can I say to prevent this
without hurting her feelings?
Mahalo!
Amy
Aloha
Amy,
I
feel that it is best to be honest. You could begin by telling your mother
that you are happy that you will be living closer also. But you have one
reservation. You and your husband are not accustomed to hosting visitors
and have active lives. You could follow this by telling her how
much you love her but really need privacy. If you feel as if you
want to visit her, you could tell her that your move will make it easier for
you to visit her.
Good
luck with this. Family can be trying.
Mahalo,
Amy.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
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