Which name is listed first on an envelope?

Dear Polite One,

My husband and I disagree on the proper way to address envelopes to couples. I say to list the woman's name first, followed by the man. And if there are children, they are listed in order of age (oldest to youngest).

My husband thinks the man’s name is listed first. Who is correct? I have a dinner out hanging on your answer.

Regards,

Addressing envelopes

Dear Addressing Envelopes,

I hope you have your dinner selection picked out.

A strange old rule not taught anymore, but still followed, state that the man's first name is never separated from his last (Jane and James Smith).

This isn't set in stone, and some find it very silly and stifling. It really is an individual choice on personal correspondence. I would still follow the old rule for correspondence when addressing older people or more formal situations, like weddings.

However, when you are including children, there is still only one rule. Children are listed by age: oldest to youngest. So, you are correct.

Example:

Jane and James Smith

James, Kathy, and Betty (oldest to youngest).

“The Smith Family” works also and is much shorter.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

How to address an envelope to a Ph.D.?

How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor?

Importance of Thank You Notes

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode a Dress Code Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove

How to address a divorced woman? Mrs or Ms?

Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names. If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith. Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is a Doctor! How to

Got Etiquette Advice?

Search This Blog