Which name is listed first on an envelope?

Dear Polite One,

My husband and I disagree on the proper way to address envelopes to couples. I say to list the woman's name first, followed by the man. And if there are children, they are listed in order of age (oldest to youngest).

My husband thinks the man’s name is listed first. Who is correct? I have a dinner out hanging on your answer.

Regards,

Addressing envelopes

Dear Addressing Envelopes,

I hope you have your dinner selection picked out.

A strange old rule not taught anymore, but still followed, state that the man's first name is never separated from his last (Jane and James Smith).

This isn't set in stone, and some find it very silly and stifling. It really is an individual choice on personal correspondence. I would still follow the old rule for correspondence when addressing older people or more formal situations, like weddings.

However, when you are including children, there is still only one rule. Children are listed by age: oldest to youngest. So, you are correct.

Example:

Jane and James Smith

James, Kathy, and Betty (oldest to youngest).

“The Smith Family” works also and is much shorter.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

How to address an envelope to a Ph.D.?

How to address an envelope if the wife is a doctor?

Importance of Thank You Notes

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode ...

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Guests Contribute to College Fund Dear Polite One , My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund. He has enough toys and I must consider his future. How do I list this on the invitation? Will an evite work? Wants Donations Dear Wants Donations, I’m sorry but this would be most impolite . Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday. If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts. This would be best. Good luck! Sincerely, The Polite One Host Wants Guests to Host Dear Polite One, What should I do? My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party. Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course. Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child. Help! Dear Help! Yikes! This i...

How to address a divorced woman? Mrs or Ms?

Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!

Got Etiquette Advice?

Search This Blog