How do I politely decline offers of help?

Dear Polite One,

When I entertain, I don't want assistance in the kitchen. I have my reasons. So, is there a polite way to say, "thanks but no thanks". I want to let them know I appreciate their offer but don't want to haggle over it. Is this polite or am I being a bad hostess by declining their help?

Needs no Assistance

Dear Needs no Assistance,

Perhaps try thanking them for their offer, following up with, "I am such a stickler for how things should be done in the kitchen that my (pick your noun) is afraid to help." Then laugh/smile. This is usually effective, keeps guests laughing, and out of the kitchen. You may still be stuck with them underfoot. If so, just smile and tell yourself that it is only one night.

The one rule is that as well-mannered hosts, would try to avoid making our guests feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes we must allow others to help. Alternately, you could wait to clean up until the guests leave.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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