How do I politely decline offers of help?

Dear Polite One,

When I entertain, I don't want assistance in the kitchen. I have my reasons. So, is there a polite way to say, "thanks but no thanks". I want to let them know I appreciate their offer but don't want to haggle over it. Is this polite or am I being a bad hostess by declining their help?

Needs no Assistance

Dear Needs no Assistance,

Perhaps try thanking them for their offer, following up with, "I am such a stickler for how things should be done in the kitchen that my (pick your noun) is afraid to help." Then laugh/smile. This is usually effective, keeps guests laughing, and out of the kitchen. You may still be stuck with them underfoot. If so, just smile and tell yourself that it is only one night.

The one rule is that as well-mannered hosts, would try to avoid making our guests feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes we must allow others to help. Alternately, you could wait to clean up until the guests leave.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Hostess Gift, Buffets, and Dietary Dilemmas

Do I include titles on place cards?

When guests bring food, should they take the leftovers home?

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode a Dress Code Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove

How to address a divorced woman? Mrs or Ms?

Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names. If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith. Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is a Doctor! How to

Got Etiquette Advice?

Search This Blog