Any type of commitment is a test. One that should be taken seriously, if one is serious. Logically, this would mean that when in a personal relationship with another person, your focus would naturally be on the other’s feelings, comfort, and well-being. When that isn’t the case, well, you just may have failed that test.
How to tell my boyfriend to stop touching other women?
Hello Polite One,
Please
help me with relationship
etiquette, as I feel I am not subjective with this issue.
My
boyfriend is always touching other women when he talks to them. The
kicker is that I’m standing right next to him and he excludes me from the
conversation. Sometimes when we are out at a restaurant, he’ll leave me
at the table to talk to others as well. It always seems to revolve around
females too. Is this appropriate?
Fuming
Dear
Fuming,
This
shouldn’t be a problem if he is a “touchy-feely” type of person with everyone.
I’m that sort, so I can relate. However, if this behavior is
only exhibited around other women, it could be a big red flag. His focus
should be on you and not on other women’s body parts. Obviously, he can
converse with others, but you should be involved in all
conversations.
Moreover,
he should not leave you at a table to go visit others and not include you.
If he noticed long-lost friends at a restaurant, he should invite you to
follow him and introduce you to his friends. You two should visit for just a
few minutes and return to your table.
Unfortunately,
many just do not know what is and what is not polite. This could be the
issue here. But you will never know unless you discuss your feelings with
him. Open communication is essential in a relationship.
Sincerely,
The
Polite One
How do I deal with my boyfriend’s rude friends?
Dear
Polite One,
My
fiancé's female friends have made numerous public comments about my dark roots
when in-between dye applications. I find this rude and am insulted. My fiancé
doesn't think anything about the comments and thinks I'm over-reacting.
In fact, he expects us all to be close friends. Is this rude behavior?
How do I deal with these rude people?
Thank
you,
Color
me insulted
Dear
Color me insulted,
You
are correct that they are behaving badly. In fact, I would imagine that they know what they are
doing. Sometimes, especially for competitive females, we feel
threatened when a new female comes into our circle. They have all been
friends for some time. You are the new female introduced to their
circle. Potentially, you could destroy the relationship between your
fiancé and women. That's when the cat's claws come out. So,
what to do?
Bottom
line, these are your fiancé's friends, you are with him, so you will be with
the friends as well. This means that you need to be able to accept the
comments as your fiancé views them as if they are nothing. Do the
"duck". Duck's feathers keep him from getting wet.
The water rolls off his back. Be that duck. Laugh about the dark
roots stating that the box is in the mail. They will soon get tired of
the game and, hopefully, begin to get to know you better. If not, and the
situation gets worse, and your fiancé won't support you, this might
not be the relationship for you.
Best
wishes,
The
Polite One
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