Do I give a gift or what?

Birthday party gifts and when they are expected

Do I or do I not gift a gift? That is the question. In our gift-crazy society, attending social events can be quite confusing. Some are traditionally gift-giving events, while others are not. Fold in the ever-changing etiquette...well, that’s enough to drive a person to scream out loud, “What do I do now!?” I hope the next two situations alleviate some of your gift anxieties.

How to State No Gifts on Invitation?

Dear Polite One,

We are planning a surprise 70th birthday party for my grandmother and we are wondering how to say that gifts are not necessary on the invitations. I know that it is not proper to state “no gifts please” on the invitation, but we are just looking for a tactful way to state this so her friends and other distant family members do not feel obligated to bring a gift. If you have any other great ideas please share them with us.

No Gifts

Dear No Gifts,

Actually because so many are expecting gifts for all events these days, it is now appropriate to mention ‘no gifts please'. Some may not know this since it is a very recent change in etiquette. But it is proper.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Gift for Adult Birthday Party?

Dear Polite One,

When declining an invite to a birthday party for an adult is one still obligated to send a gift??

Any help would be greatly appreciated...

Dear Any Help,

An adult birthday party is not supposed to be a gift-giving situation. Additionally, when not attending any type of birthday party, you are not expected to give a gift.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

What is the Appropriate Gift for my Godchild?

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode ...

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How to Address Domestic Partners and Child on the Envelope

Dear Polite One , How does one address heterosexual domestic partners with a child ? The child has the last name of the father. The child's middle name is the mother's last name. How should envelopes be addressed? How should the inside of a formal letter/invitation and informal letter/invitation be addressed? Sue Smith and Frank Jones and Zak The Smith-Jones Family Mr. Frank Jones and Ms. Sue Smith and Son (or Zak) Should their signatures read Sue Smith, Frank Jones, and Zak Smith-Jones or Frank, Sue, and Zak? Confused Dear Confused, The formal invitation uses two envelopes. The outer would read Mr. Frank Jones and Ms. Sue Smith on two lines. The inner envelope would read Mr. Jones, Ms. Smith, Zak Smith Jones all on separate lines. The informal invitation would read the Jones-Smith F...

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