Got Etiquette Advice?

What to bring to dinner? Dear Polite One,  When invited to a dinner , family or not, should I bring a hostess gift, dessert, or wine?  Thanks Empty-Handed Dear Empty-Handed It's best to ask if the host would like for you to bring something, like dessert.  A good host will decline.  But you should always take some sort of hostess gift, such as a bottle of wine, flowers, or candy. The Polite One How much to Pile on a Cocktail Party Plate? Dear Polite One When attending a Cocktail Party or Happy Hour and the host is having hors d’oeuvre  to be eaten on a small saucer plate, how many of each item should you get or place on your plate? Thank you, James Dear James,  There is no absolute here because items may be large or small and how can we assign a number to this.  So, we should use discretion as not to appear ravenous or greedy.  Just place a few, perhaps three items on your plate at a time.  We wouldn’t want our plate to appear h...

Family and Relationship Etiquette Family can be your support system one minute and drive you insane the next.  As an etiquette professional answering questions from all over the world, I’ve found that relationship and family issues outweigh all other concerns.   It seems that no family question is simple, and each is unique.  What follows are three of my most favorite questions along with my answers.  Family Trip Saga Q:  Rebecca, I was recently responsible for planning a family trip for my siblings and their families.  We all agreed on renting a condo, the dates, and the destination.  It was my job to put it all together, including putting down a sizable deposit to hold the date.  One sibling paid me promptly, but one I had to prod multiple times for his share.  When it came time to choose rooms, the one sibling who paid promptly suggested I take the primary suite since I did all the work.  I, in tu...

  When should I ask my date for the prom? Ask your date two months before the prom.  This is plenty of time to shop and prepare. How do I decide what type of flowers do I give my date? Gentlemen ask their date what color her dress is and orders what the lady wants, either a wristlet, nosegay (a small bunch to carry), or corsage in her color. Ladies purchase a boutonniere or small flower for her date’s lapel (rose or carnation). It is usually the same color as her flowers. Who pays? Typically, the young man would pay if he can afford it. However, some couples split the cost; this is becoming more common.  May I go to the prom by myself, or may I go with a group of friends? Sure, you may go with a group of friends because you can share the cost of travel.  Nevertheless, it might not be best to go alone because you will want to dance.  Similar Posts Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove Etiquette How to Plan for a Pe...

Dress Code Definitions   New dress codes arrive daily.  Some may be confusing since they are new. Still, most are descriptive, and we can decode them. Below are the most common dress codes.  Hopefully, you can decode any new dress codes with these.  If not comment below and ask. Dressy Casual Slacks with a nice top (for either gender), a knee-length skirt with a quality top, or a dress that you would wear to a restaurant is fine. Shorts may be fine in certain situations, but these should not be too short or cut-offs—no t-shirts or flip-flops. Resort Attire This means good quality summer attire that you would feel comfortable wearing to a golf club or country club.  This could include good quality shorts, button and polo shirts, short skirts, sandals, and newish sneakers—no flip-flops, tank tops, t-shirts, or too much skin. Evening Resort Attire Very similar to what we would feel comfortable wearing to a country club in the evening. Slacks and a nic...

   Primer of common dress codes for cruises and resorts. Proper attire for a cruise or resort is most often quality country club wear—no tank tops or flip-flops.    Resort Attire Good quality summer attire that you would feel comfortable wearing to a golf club or country club. This could include good quality shorts, button and polo shirts, short skirts, sandals, and newish sneakers—no flip-flops, tank tops, t-shirts, or too much skin. Evening Resort Attire Similar to what we would feel comfortable wearing to a country club in the evening. Slacks and a nice shirt (jacket optional) for men and a dress or nice separate are perfect for women--no sneakers, flip-flops, t-shirts, or shorts. Dressy Casual This calls for slacks with a nice top (for either gender), a knee-length skirt with a quality top, or a dress that you would wear to a restaurant. Shorts would be fine, but these should not be too short or cut-offs—no t-shirts or flip-flops. Cocktail Att...