Got Etiquette Advice?

Dear Polite One,   My husband and I are in the process of purchasing our first home. My mother-in-law mentioned that she wanted to give us a housewarming. Would this be proper etiquette? I didn't think it was.   She knew it wasn’t proper to give us showers when we got married but was not sure about the housewarming.  In these instances, do we host a housewarming as a way for our friends and family to see our new home? If someone asks to give us a housewarming, who are people that could give this properly? Thanks, Kelly Dear Kelly, I’m so glad you asked before agreeing.  This is becoming quite a problem.  Large store chains began a campaign a few years ago promoting registering for housewarmings and graduations, neither of which are considered appropriate.  We just don’t do it.  Most people find this type of behavior as crass, greedy, and tacky.  Arg, I don’t think any of us want that label.   The housewarming is sup...

  Dear Polite One , I was so pleased to find your site during my search for proper etiquette ! I've learned quite a bit about what to do and what NOT to do at Housewarming Parties. My husband was recently transferred over 200 miles from where we have lived our entire lives. We left behind all our friends and family (both sides) which as you might expect can be good and bad... We moved into our new home about a month ago and have finally unpacked the last few boxes and positioned that last bit of furniture.  I feel I'm ready to have our friends and family over for a housewarming gathering.  The problem is the distance... What is the appropriate way to handle this? The drive is about 3.5 hours and a round trip could be done in one day (but not desirable). There are several nearby hotels, but can you put that information in an invitation? We do have a guest room with one queen-size bed and a sofa bed in the living room but would not be able to accommodate all guests....

  Dear Polite One, I would like to thank you. Your site is full of information and common sense. I am a new homeowner, and my birthday is coming up; I would like to combine the celebrations.  I do not want my guests to bring b-day gifts. On the invitation I would like to say:   Please No Birthday Gifts Your Presence is My Present! Would this be alright? I do not expect housewarming gifts, but all will be excepted with a SMILE.   Also, I have lifelong friends, friends from work and social friends, is it OK to stager the time of the party and have one group come between 12:00pm to 2:00pm and one come between 1:00pm to 3:00pm and one between 2:00pm to 4:00pm, so I can be attentive to my guests and enjoy the day. OR Should the times not overlap? Perhaps: 12:00pm to 2:00pm and 2:00pm to 4:00pm and 4:00pm to 6:00pm.   Maybe serving hot dogs and potato salad and other side dishes and birthday cake. Please let me know what you think...

  Dear Polite One, I was reading your responses to the appropriateness of registering for one's own housewarming. And I completely agree. However, let me run this past you and you tell me what you would do if you were me.  I'm 43 years old. I have never been married, and Mr. Wonderful seems to be on the slow boat with only ONE oar in the water! I've saved and saved and SAVED to finally purchase my own home: a condo. It's been a major focus over the past 10 years. I have two friends who want to host a "new home shower" for me as a major celebration of a long, long journey. A third friend has thrown the etiquette flag on the field, stating that she doesn't think it's proper. What I find ironic is we throw wedding showers for couples who live together before marriage; baby showers for women who aren't married--and might not even have a relationship with the baby's father, and yet it's improper to have a shower for someone who has wor...

  Dear Polite One, Is there a time limit for a housewarming party?  I have been out of town for business for well over three months since I moved into my first home.   There’s been no time to host a housewarming party.  Thanks for your help. Jon-Paul Dear Jon-Paul, Since this is just a party to ‘announce’ your home, offer tours, entertain those for whom you care, and for those people to ‘warm your home with love’, this can be hosted at any time.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Don't Register for Housewarming Parties! May I Host a Housewarming Party Without Alcohol? Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

Hi Polite One, We just bought our first home, so I am hosting a housewarming party next month. Because I love being a good hostess, I will supply a good spread of BBQ, snacks and tidbits. The issue is alcohol though. Due to a health matter, neither my husband nor I drink. So, I plan to provide slushy margaritas and beer for light drinking, but I don't feel obligated to provide enough for...well, serious drinking. There will be plenty of nonalcoholic beverages. Is this proper? Or should I be aiming to provide a good selection and quantity so guests can drink however much they want? We're fairly young, so it is a matter of cost too - and I know some of our friends can be pretty heavy drinkers. Is that their problem or ours? Winnipeg, MB Canada Hello Winnipeg, MB Canada, Your plans are fine, so don't worry about supplying a surplus of alcohol.   Typically, a housewarming is more about dropping in to see the home and receiving loads of hugs.   You are providi...

  Graduating from high school is certainly something to celebrate.   Still, parents are role models who guide their children in the right direction, thus it’s best to resist succumbing to the excitement of the moment.   Naturally, parents are proud of their child’s accomplishments, so clouded judgment is common.   Since imminent adulthood is now a reality, it is even more important to stay vigilant as good parental guides.   Understanding how to behave like an adult, and how to be a good host, is an invaluable skill for your child’s social toolbelt.   Use the graduation party as a teaching tool.    Budget and Planning A good party begins with planning.   Involve the child in the planning and inviting, beginning with a budget and a guest-list limit.   Be realistic and candid about monetary limitations—a great life lesson.   Inviting Besides your child’s dear friends, must-invite guests are all those who have been clos...