Memorial Service Timing and Condolence Card Q and A

When we lose someone near and dear, we grieve, but also have questions. I can’t help with the grieving process, but I can do this...

May I wait 6 Months to Host Memorial Services?

Dear Polite One,

I was just wondering if you know of any rules or guidelines concerning the timing of memorial services. Is there a time limit as to how many days/weeks/months one can wait to have a service for a loved one who's passed? Is it acceptable to wait 6 months for an entire group of family and friends to all be available to come together to collectively honor one who is gone?

Many Questions

Dear Many Questions,

Please accept my sincerest sympathies for your loss.

There is no set timeline and is a personal decision. Sometimes this type of gathering must be hosted weeks after the person has passed. However, typically the memorial is held within the first month. This is not a rule, just an observation.

That said, it is perfectly fine to hold a Celebration of Life months after the funeral.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

How to Address a Condolence Card to a Wife?

Dear Polite One,

When addressing a condolence card to the wife of the deceased, does use the wife's first name or the deceased husband's first name.

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

Years ago we would refer to the widow as Mrs. John Brown. Today, especially if she is less than 65 years old, she would probably want to be addressed as Mrs. Sally Brown. In most areas, women have dropped their husband’s names.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

What is an appropriate housewarming gift?

Are favors appropriate for a religious event?

How do I inform guests of attire, gift request and they pay for meals?

Comments

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing. At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests. I’m sure that’s not the case. Still... Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event. So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage. This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds. So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women. Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive. Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode ...

How to address an envelope to a married woman who kept her maiden name?

Dear Polite One, With so many females keeping their maiden names after marrying, how I address correspondences to them? Confused Dear Confused, Many times, women keep their maiden names to retain career identity. This is her name no matter what her marital status is. So, if the correspondence is primarily to her, list it like the following. Ms. Jane Brown Mr. John Smith If listed on the same line, add an "and." Ms. Jane Brown and Mr. John Smith If you don't know her husband's name, you could use this example. Ms. Jane Brown and family. If the correspondence is primarily to her husband , list his name first. Mr. John Smith Ms. Jane Brown However, if this is a social correspondence and one is a doctor or holds a title (officer or similar), this person would be listed first. General John Smith and Ms/Mrs. Jane Brown. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Correspondence: Dr and Hubby, Grieving Brother-In-...

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names. If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith. Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is ...

Got Etiquette Advice?

Search This Blog