Skip to main content

It’s Just Food

Dinner party

Hi Polite One,

We are hosting a dinner party for 8.  I have reviewed a few etiquette websites, but none of them answer these questions.

How long should there be between courses?

If it will be a while because of prep time, should guests be encouraged to get up from the table?

Is soup always served before salad?

I may have to tend to the entree while soup/salad is served.  Is this rude?

I guess my issue is about timing.  I know how long my menu will take to prep, but I don't know how long my guests will take to eat, and I don't want things to burn/get cold/overcook.

Lastly, we always eat at our breakfast nook table, which is really in the kitchen.  We have had one family Thanksgiving where we ate at the dining room table, but people seemed uncomfortable because of the formality of the room.  Our kitchen is newly remodeled, beautiful & welcoming.  We can seat 8 in either room.  Is it OK to have guests eat in the kitchen?  That's where everyone wants to be at parties anyway.

Thank you,

Crystal

Dear Crystal,

There is no predetermined perfect amount of time between courses.  It just shouldn’t be too long, because guests may begin to wonder if the dinner has ended.  However, if this is not a formal party, there can be 15 minutes between the first course and the entrée.  Guests can get up and join you as you finish or plate the entrée.  This is fine. 

Continental style of eating would have a fish course or soup or both before the entrée.  Salad would be served after the entrée and before the dessert.  We tend to have our salads first, which is fine.  But you can serve any course in any order you wish if it makes sense to you.  It is just food. 

Many times, we will serve a course and must run into the kitchen to tend to the next course.  It is best if there is someone co-hosting with you to take up the host position when you leap back into cook mode.  If not, ask someone to play this part for you. 

Try to do all the prep before guests arrive.  Have all courses ready to either plate or cook.  The French call this: “mis en place,” having all set-in place. This makes it easy to pull it all together when the guests arrive. 

It is perfectly fine to host your dinner in the kitchen.  It is more fun anyway. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

How did the American method begin?

Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

Learn how to eat quesadillas, and bread and butter politely.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is California Cocktail Attire?

Dear Polite One , What is California cocktail attire? Thank you, Confused Dear Confused , There is no such thing.   At times, it feels as if hosts just like to make these things up to confuse their guests.   I’m sure that’s not the case.   Still...      Many hosts try to create a “feeling,” or more appropriately, “set the stage” for an event.   So, they will incorporate a well-known attire category with a word that describes that elusive stage.   This leads to the confusion we both feel since neither of us can actually see inside their minds.   So, I suggest going with slightly laid-back cocktail attire, which typically is the suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women.    Perhaps skip the tie and accessories that appear expensive.   Additionally, it is appropriate to call the host and ask for clarification.   Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to Decode ...
Post a Comment
Read more

3 Most Asked Questions About Listing Doctors on Envelopes

  How to List Doctors on Invitation Envelope? Dear Polite One , How does one address an envelope for the two following scenarios? 1) The wife is a physician, but the husband is not. 2) Both the wife and husband are physicians, and she used her maiden name. Lots of Doctors Dear Lots of Doctors, The doctor and husband: Doctor Jane and Mr. John Smith The doctor couple: Doctor Jane Jones Doctor John Smith Most sincerely, The Polite One What is the Proper Salutation for Doctor Couple? Dear Polite One , How do you write the correct salutation when both the husband and wife are doctors? Doctors All-Around Dear Doctors All-Around, If you are close friends, you would use their first names.  If this is a formal or business letter, you would use the title doctor for both: Doctors Smith, Doctor Sam Smith, and Doctor Tina Smith, or Doctors Tina and Sam Smith.  Most sincerely, The Polite One Don’t Know Husband’s Name and the Wife is ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Guests Contribute to College Fund Dear Polite One , My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund.  He has enough toys and I must consider his future.  How do I list this on the invitation?  Will an evite work? Wants Donations Dear Wants Donations, I’m sorry but this would be most impolite .  Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday.  If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts.  This would be best. Good luck! Sincerely, The Polite One Host Wants Guests to Host Dear Polite One, What should I do?  My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party.  Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course.  Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child. Help! Dear Help! Yikes!  This i...
Post a Comment
Read more