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It’s Just Food

Dinner party

Hi Polite One,

We are hosting a dinner party for 8.  I have reviewed a few etiquette websites, but none of them answer these questions.

How long should there be between courses?

If it will be a while because of prep time, should guests be encouraged to get up from the table?

Is soup always served before salad?

I may have to tend to the entree while soup/salad is served.  Is this rude?

I guess my issue is about timing.  I know how long my menu will take to prep, but I don't know how long my guests will take to eat, and I don't want things to burn/get cold/overcook.

Lastly, we always eat at our breakfast nook table, which is really in the kitchen.  We have had one family Thanksgiving where we ate at the dining room table, but people seemed uncomfortable because of the formality of the room.  Our kitchen is newly remodeled, beautiful & welcoming.  We can seat 8 in either room.  Is it OK to have guests eat in the kitchen?  That's where everyone wants to be at parties anyway.

Thank you,

Crystal

Dear Crystal,

There is no predetermined perfect amount of time between courses.  It just shouldn’t be too long, because guests may begin to wonder if the dinner has ended.  However, if this is not a formal party, there can be 15 minutes between the first course and the entrée.  Guests can get up and join you as you finish or plate the entrée.  This is fine. 

Continental style of eating would have a fish course or soup or both before the entrée.  Salad would be served after the entrée and before the dessert.  We tend to have our salads first, which is fine.  But you can serve any course in any order you wish if it makes sense to you.  It is just food. 

Many times, we will serve a course and must run into the kitchen to tend to the next course.  It is best if there is someone co-hosting with you to take up the host position when you leap back into cook mode.  If not, ask someone to play this part for you. 

Try to do all the prep before guests arrive.  Have all courses ready to either plate or cook.  The French call this: “mis en place,” having all set-in place. This makes it easy to pull it all together when the guests arrive. 

It is perfectly fine to host your dinner in the kitchen.  It is more fun anyway. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

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Dinner Party Etiquette in Four Situations

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