Hello, Polite One,
Thank
you for allowing us the opportunity to learn from you, Ms. Black.
I
either suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder or am appalled
by discontinuities in common manners.
I think I prefer the latter since the former is simply much too clinical for
me.
My
question: when I make a dish like "Chile Con Queso" or some "Pico
de Gallo," the kids (all four 25+) grab chips from the bag and all dip
from the common bowl as opposed to what I think should occur; that
being everyone should have their own dip filled bowls on a plate with
chips on the plate. I somehow find it simply unthinkable to share from a
common bowl. What do you think?
Here's
another little gem...when the kids arrive after a long road trip, I find
it unsettling that they do not bother to shower before they go to
bed. I find it unsettling still when they arrive that they take
their shoes off and rest their sweaty feet on my coffee table or my
sofa before they shower, and that their sweaty bodies are on my
furniture.
Stressed
in Tulsa
Dear
Stressed,
I
think this is simply a point of view because these events can be seen in two different
ways. Salsa and other types of dip are meant to be eaten
from a common bowl. Still, a person is not supposed to double-dip.
That’s where we came up with that term.
If
you want them to eat from separate bowls, place a ladle in the larger bowl and
provide smaller bowls for each person. Or separate the dip into smaller
bowls for them. This is quite proper.
Just
because they have traveled a distance doesn’t mean that they are sweaty or
dirty. They may just be tired and want to sleep. As for removing their
shoes, that is considered polite behavior in many cultures. Of course,
setting their feet on your furniture is not.
Many
of us remove our shoes when we enter someone’s home. Shoes are very dirty
for obvious reasons. So, this is another view of this side of the
argument. It is simply a preference.
Perhaps
just try to take joy that your children want to spend time with you. As parents, we raise our children to be
independent, and sometimes that means they move far away, so we rarely see
them. And sometimes their careers
keep them busy which means visiting parents often is not possible. You are a lucky father.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
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by The Polite One
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