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Two Who Know How to Parent

Intrusive Little Neighbor Boy

What to do about an intrusive neighbor boy?

Dear Polite One, 

I have always taught my 5-year-old son to never invite himself to anyone’s home. However, our neighbor boy is exactly the opposite.  He always invites himself to our home at all hours no matter who else is visiting.  The mother is no better, as she calls asking to send him over.  How do I convey that this is rude behavior?  I don’t want to tell her that she has no parenting skills. What is proper neighbor etiquette?  

Frustrated Mom

Dear Frustrated Mom, 

Bravo on your parenting skills and preparing your son for a well-mannered future.  I agree that it is 'rude' to invite oneself to someone else's home.  Since it is also impolite to correct other’s manners, you may have to teach your neighbor through your actions.  You could politely tell the boy that it is best for him to wait for an invite, as your schedule changes from time to time, and your son wouldn’t know this. That's just one idea and is a good start. 

When the mother calls, you could simply deflect the question by mentioning that you are busy and can’t even think about guests at this time.  The more you put her off, hopefully, she will tire of calling.  However, you may have to be honest–there’s nothing wrong with honesty.   

Sincerely, 

The Polite One

What to do about broken vase?

Dear Polite One, 

I homeschool my young children.  One is five and one is preschool age (4).  We are also members of a homeschool group of four other mothers with one to two children each.  During our last visit, my younger child broke a glass vase that was on a bookshelf.  At four years old, none of us could get to him quickly enough.  I helped to clean up and chastised my son for touching things that aren’t his.  He was pretty frightened, though, due to the noise of the crash. 

After apologizing, I offered to replace the item.  She was very generous about it and said that it was her fault for placing a breakable where a young child could reach it.   What is the etiquette involved; what should I do? I’d like to replace it but can’t find the vase online or in the stores.  Ideas? 

Embarrassed, but want to do the right thing.

Dear Embarrassed, but want to do the right thing, 

Great parenting skills! I’m thrilled to hear from a parent who actually wants to take responsibility for the actions of her child.  Bravo!  This will help both of your children to do the same.   

Most likely, you wouldn’t be able to replace the exact item.  So perhaps you could give her something you think she would like based on your experience with her.  It isn’t necessary for the gift to be equal to the broken item. 

Sincerely, 

The Polite One 

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