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What to Wear for Three Distinctly Different Weddings?


May I wear black to a daytime wedding?  Nylons?

It seems there’s always some wiggle room in wedding attire, be it for the bridal party or the guest.  Here we have three distinct problems with fairly traditional solutions.  Most often, we can argue with tradition.  Sometimes, the newest rules are even better.     

Dear Polite One,

I understand that wearing black to a daytime wedding is a faux pas, but my friend has requested all of her female guests to wear that color.  It is an informal wedding followed by a restaurant dinner.  What should I do?  Also, do I wear nylons?  It's very cold this time of year.  

Chilled in Wisconsin

Dear Chilled in Wisconsin,

No worries.  It is no longer considered a faux pas and is more and more common for all weddings. Nylons are fine if the shoes are closed-toe.

Sincerely,
The Polite One

Will it be the Eton or Tux?

Dear Polite One,

Rebecca, my oldest son is getting married next month. He asked that his younger 3-year-old brother be the ring bearer.  

We are at an impasse as to what the ring bearer should wear.  They would like for him to wear a tux and I am strongly against it.  I have suggested that he wear a white Eton suit.  They think it would be too girlish.  I keep trying to explain that his little brother would look like a little old man in a tux. 

Do you have any suggestions as to how I should resolve this?  It would be simple to just let him wear a tux, but I feel so strongly about this. As a rule, the groom's mother does not have a lot (if any) say about the wedding but my husband and I are paying for a small portion of the wedding and therefore thought that I could at least have some input on this.  I cannot seem to make them understand that a ring bearer generally does not wear a tux. HELP.

Thanks!

Mary

Dear Mary,

Unfortunately, neither family should have any say these days as parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.  Anything either of you give is a gift to do what they please.  So, it is positive and negative for both the couple and parents. 

The Eaton is a classic and does come in black, although during warmer weather it should be white.  This may help change their minds.  Another aspect is that the tux is evening formal attire.  None of the men should wear a tux if this is scheduled during the day.  Other than that, it is their choice to do what they wish to do.  It is probably best to let this one pass.  It may help to know that many are now dressing their young attendants in tuxes and not the classic Eaton. 

Three years old is a bit young for this though.  Many young children scream and jump under the nearest dress when the ceremony begins.  I have witnessed more children being dragged up the aisle by the bride’s ankle than children walking on their own.  They may want to rethink the addition of children in the wedding, especially if they are not inviting others.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Church Wedding. Private Club Reception.  What to Wear?

Dear Polite One

What do you consider proper dress for female guests at a formal 7:00 p.m. wedding at a church with reception at a private club?

Thanks,

Carolyn

Dear Carolyn,

Typically, this is cocktail attire: the little black dress or its equivalent.  A cover-up is required for the wedding since it is in a church. 

This information should never be included on the invitation but may be included on an enclosure. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Similar Posts

How to Decode a Dress Code

Casual is More Than One Style

Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove Etiquette


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