Skip to main content

What to Wear for Three Distinctly Different Weddings?


May I wear black to a daytime wedding?  Nylons?

It seems there’s always some wiggle room in wedding attire, be it for the bridal party or the guest.  Here we have three distinct problems with fairly traditional solutions.  Most often, we can argue with tradition.  Sometimes, the newest rules are even better.     

Dear Polite One,

I understand that wearing black to a daytime wedding is a faux pas, but my friend has requested all of her female guests to wear that color.  It is an informal wedding followed by a restaurant dinner.  What should I do?  Also, do I wear nylons?  It's very cold this time of year.  

Chilled in Wisconsin

Dear Chilled in Wisconsin,

No worries.  It is no longer considered a faux pas and is more and more common for all weddings. Nylons are fine if the shoes are closed-toe.

Sincerely,
The Polite One

Will it be the Eton or Tux?

Dear Polite One,

Rebecca, my oldest son is getting married next month. He asked that his younger 3-year-old brother be the ring bearer.  

We are at an impasse as to what the ring bearer should wear.  They would like for him to wear a tux and I am strongly against it.  I have suggested that he wear a white Eton suit.  They think it would be too girlish.  I keep trying to explain that his little brother would look like a little old man in a tux. 

Do you have any suggestions as to how I should resolve this?  It would be simple to just let him wear a tux, but I feel so strongly about this. As a rule, the groom's mother does not have a lot (if any) say about the wedding but my husband and I are paying for a small portion of the wedding and therefore thought that I could at least have some input on this.  I cannot seem to make them understand that a ring bearer generally does not wear a tux. HELP.

Thanks!

Mary

Dear Mary,

Unfortunately, neither family should have any say these days as parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.  Anything either of you give is a gift to do what they please.  So, it is positive and negative for both the couple and parents. 

The Eaton is a classic and does come in black, although during warmer weather it should be white.  This may help change their minds.  Another aspect is that the tux is evening formal attire.  None of the men should wear a tux if this is scheduled during the day.  Other than that, it is their choice to do what they wish to do.  It is probably best to let this one pass.  It may help to know that many are now dressing their young attendants in tuxes and not the classic Eaton. 

Three years old is a bit young for this though.  Many young children scream and jump under the nearest dress when the ceremony begins.  I have witnessed more children being dragged up the aisle by the bride’s ankle than children walking on their own.  They may want to rethink the addition of children in the wedding, especially if they are not inviting others.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Church Wedding. Private Club Reception.  What to Wear?

Dear Polite One

What do you consider proper dress for female guests at a formal 7:00 p.m. wedding at a church with reception at a private club?

Thanks,

Carolyn

Dear Carolyn,

Typically, this is cocktail attire: the little black dress or its equivalent.  A cover-up is required for the wedding since it is in a church. 

This information should never be included on the invitation but may be included on an enclosure. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Similar Posts

How to Decode a Dress Code

Casual is More Than One Style

Proper Formal Attire: Benefits, Ballet, and Glove Etiquette


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to address a divorced woman? Mrs or Ms?

  Dear Polite One, Should I use "Mrs." or "Ms." when sending correspondence to a divorced woman? Wondering from Kansas Dear Wondering from Kansas, Both Mrs. and Ms. are proper when addressing a letter to a divorced woman. If you choose to use Mrs., you will use her first name and last name: Mrs. Jane Brown. However, Ms. is the most common title for women these days, because marital status does not define any of us. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Too late to send an invitation to Bat Mitzvah? How to reschedule a retirement party? Mother-in-law added names to the guest list!

What is proper birthday party etiquette?

Guests Contribute to College Fund Dear Polite One , My son turns five next month and I want to inform all guests to contribute to his college fund.  He has enough toys and I must consider his future.  How do I list this on the invitation?  Will an evite work? Wants Donations Dear Wants Donations, I’m sorry but this would be most impolite .  Hosts never request cash or any type of monetary contribution for a child’s birthday.  If your child is lucky enough to have all his needs met, you could inform guests not to give gifts.  This would be best. Good luck! Sincerely, The Polite One Host Wants Guests to Host Dear Polite One, What should I do?  My daughter’s best friend is having a birthday party.  Her mother has requested all parents attend to help monitor the children while they play at a local miniature golf course.  Plus, we are all expected to pay our cost and that of our child. Help! Dear Help! Yikes!  This i...

Do I give a gift or what?

Do I or do I not gift a gift?  That is the question.  In our gift-crazy society, attending social events can be quite confusing.  Some are traditionally gift-giving events , while others are not.  Fold in the ever-changing etiquette...well, that’s enough to drive a person to scream out loud, “What do I do now!?”  I hope the next two situations alleviate some of your gift anxieties.   How to State No Gifts on Invitation? Dear Polite One,  We are planning a surprise 70th birthday party for my grandmother and we are wondering how to say that gifts are not necessary on the invitations. I know that it is not proper to state “no gifts please” on the invitation, but we are just looking for a tactful way to state this so her friends and other distant family members do not feel obligated to bring a gift. If you have any other great ideas please share them with us. No Gifts Dear No Gifts, Actually because so many are expecting gifts for all event...